What's up, Ziva?
by Blam-Like-A-Gun
Summary: Missing scenes in some episodes that I wished were developed further in Season 7 and 8 concerning Ziva cause she is my favourite character. "You heard of the Annoying Orange?"
1. 7x13 Jetlag Part 1

"I am going to kill him." Ziva muttered to herself through clenched teeth.

Out of all the other nice perfect days for McGee to mess up, he had to choose today. She switched back to French as she continued to 'converse nicely' with the receptionist. Tony watched as his partner spewed what seemed to be the language of French at record speed, targeted towards the receptionist.

_Poor woman, the receptionist that is_ Tony thought, as he silently snickered and leaned against the wall, beside Ziva. Tony's thoughts drifted for abit, since he had no frigging idea what in the world Ziva and the receptionist were saying.

It was never exactly a pleasure to be on the opposite end of Ziva's sharp tongue. God forbid the women lose an argument, except against Gibbs of course. No one out-talks the Boss. _Wow, I'm actually entertaining myself with...myself. Not bad DiNozzo. Score one for me. I ought to do this the next time Ziva goes all rapid fire in a foreign language I so unfortunately don't know of_.

"Tony!" a voice shook him out of his reverie.

Tony looked up to focus on his partner. _Woah, that doesn't look good,_ he thought to himself. Ziva was pissed. Oh-ho, she was really pissed. Her cheeks were tinged a faded shade of pink. Her brows were knitted into a frown and her lips set tight in a straight line. "What's up?" he said, shifting uncomfortably under the glare of Ziva.

With an exasperated sigh, she continued. "It seems that McGee has messed up our room reservations and he only booked one room."

She held up one room card in emphasis. "And since they do not have any more rooms available, we have no choice but to share." Ziva spit out the words through a set jaw.

Clearly she was uncomfortable with the arrangement. That was for sure. _But why?_ Tony didn't understand. Was he that bad to share a room with? _Wait!_ He didn't smell so bad did he? For a moment there, Tony had an urge to sniff himself.

He knew that the idea of self-sniffing would surely sound better if it stayed in his head. He didn't want to delve further into questioning Ziva's apparent reluctance, so instead he slipped into his humourous self and quipped back.

"Why the unnecessary anger my ninja? Sharing a room with me can't be that bad. I know, you're afraid you'll finally fall for the DiNozzo charm, aren't ya? I always knew you would someday." Tony added his signature charming grin at the end.

In return he got an elbow to the stomach as Ziva retorted back. "In your dreams DiNozzo."

"No worries there, you're always in my dreams. Oh! There was this one time we were-"

"I do not need to know, nor do I want to know."

Ziva set off in the direction of the lift as Tony rushed to meet her pace.

"C'mon Ziva I'm a fun guy to share a room with!" Tony joked as he lifted his arm in an attempt to sling it around her shoulders.

"Touch me and die." She said as she ducked away from his descending arm.

They got into the lift and stood in silence as the lift began its slow ascent to the 14th floor. Awkward silence was what went down in the lift, apart from the bad taste in elevator music.

"No funny business, I promise." Tony broke the silence, seeing how peeved Ziva was from the whole arrangement, and he knew better than to ask her why.

Sometimes it was better to leave her to herself. Ziva was inwardly grateful that Tony didn't push for answers about her adamant displeasure in sharing a room, and replied with a quiet "Thanks."

* * *

><p>Once they reached their room, Ziva slot in the room card and opened the door to reveal their suite. There was a TV, a comfy looking couch, and a queen-sized bed. The bathroom was adequate with bathtub and all. Not bad a suite actually. Ziva, feeling bad for her actions towards Tony, offered him the bed knowing he had a bad back.<p>

"You can sleep on the bed Tony, I will take the couch." She said.

"You take the bed. I'm a guy. Couches are my thing. I fall asleep on the couch all the time watching movies."

"You will whine about how bad your back hurts tomorrow and I do not want to hear it."

"We could just- Wait I certainly do not whine."

"Yes you do."

"Uhh no I don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"You-"

"You know what? We could always share the bed. We're both responsible adults. Sharing a bed is nothing."

No way was Ziva going to share any of her sleeping space with Tony. Not in a long shot.

"No thank you. I prefer sleeping alone. On the couch. I'm smaller anyway. And unless you prefer to die by your choice of any piece of furniture in this room, I suggest you take the bed and leave it at that."

Well that effectively ended the argument. Tony gulped against the lump in his throat. He would prefer to live, than to be killed by...the TV remote. Or the hanger. He nodded and made his way to the bed. Ziva threw her baggage on the floor and plopped down on the couch.

Fatigue washed over her for awhile, and she felt in need of sleep. Well that couldn't be helped, considering it was already at night. She removed her primary gun and placed it on the couch, and unarmed herself of all her weapons. She put all the weapons into one of her bags and headed for the bathroom with her pyjamas.

Tony was slack-jawed for a moment there._ How many weapons could the woman hide!_ Upon Tony's inquisitive eyes, she mumbled "I am going to have a quick shower and then go to sleep. We have an early day tomorrow."

She didn't wait for a reply and slipped into the bathroom. As he heard the shower head being turned on, Tony visibly relaxed and retrieved a pillow from 'his' bed and a spare blanket from the cupboard to put on the couch for Ziva. As he placed the pillow down, he let a small smile fall upon his lips as he placed Ziva's gun under the pillow as well.

Oh the memory of Ziva retrieving her gun from under the pillow to point it at him a few years back during their undercover mission as married assassins was still clear as crystal in his mind. _Ninjas will always be ninjas_ he thought and chuckled to himself.

He went back to his own bags to get his pyjamas, as the turning off of the shower head probably meant Ziva was almost done and it was going to be his turn to get the bathroom.

Right on cue, Ziva emerged from the bathroom in a sweatshirt and yoga pants with a towel around her neck. Tony's eyes widened just abit as he spluttered "That's my sweatshirt!"

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Leave me a review! First try (:<strong>


	2. 7x13 Jetlag Part 2

_Right on cue, Ziva emerged from the bathroom in a sweatshirt and yoga pants with a towel around her neck. Tony's eyes widened just abit as he spluttered "That's my sweatshirt!"_

* * *

><p>Ziva kept a stoic expression, shrugged and replied "Yeah you left it at my place a few years back on one of the movie nights. I like it, keeps me warm."<p>

Tony didn't really have anything to say. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. She seemed so unfazed by his statement. He finally managed to mumble back "Uh yeah, kept me warm too. You can keep it as long as you want."

And he went to have his shower. He couldn't help but think that Ziva looked kinda adorable in his sweatshirt since it was a tad big for her size. And for Ziva, it wasn't a lie that Tony's sweatshirt kept her warm. But more importantly she felt strangely safe in it and thus she kept it for so long.

Ziva went back to her couch to see it all laid out. _Wait, where was her gun?_ The first place she looked was under the pillow. And there it was. Ziva was warmed by the fact that Tony knew her well enough to know she still slept with a gun under her pillow. She placed the pillow back and spread her towel over the pillow as she ye again plopped down onto the couch. She adjusted her blanket and laid down, getting all snug.

She really hoped there would be no nightmares tonight. They had stopped a few months back, and she hoped that the new unfamiliar walls that surrounded her tonight wouldn't be the cause for any nightmares. She didn't attempt to off the lights. Darkness wasn't really something she'd want to face anytime soon. She turned onto her side and slipped her hand under her pillow to touch her gun. It had a weird calming effect on her and soon she let her tiredness take her under.

Tony on the other hand, emerged from the bathroom a few minutes after Ziva had fallen asleep. His gaze fell upon her sleeping form. She looked peaceful, more peaceful than he'd ever since her since...since her horrific summer in the desert. _Poor Ziva, she was so tired that she fell asleep with the lights on._

Shaking his head slightly, Tony switched off the lights, leaving one small light on just in case and padded to the bed. He made himself comfortable and closed his eyes. Ziva was right, tomorrow was going to be an early day, picking up the witness and all. He hoped Ziva would get some good rest, and with that, he went under too.

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><p>Only three hours into her slumber, Ziva woke with a gasp. She sat up on the couch and had broken into a cold sweat, breathing that much more laboured. The bitter sting of unshed tears lingered. <em>Nightmare. Again. Why?<em> After so many months, it had to come back. It was always about the same thing. It was basically a vague replay of what happened in that godforsaken camp during the summer. _No do not go there,_ Ziva told herself in her head.

She didn't want to remember at all, of the torture she had been through. Her heart rate was still sky high, and she was afraid to fall asleep again. A male snort made its way through Ziva's train of thoughts. She stared into air for a few seconds there before letting her gaze fall onto her partner, who was sprawled on one side of the bed, snoring away more quietly than his one disruptive snort. She needed something to ground her, to help convince herself she was here, and not...there. And the best thing she could think of was Tony.

He was like her best friend, whether he knew it or not. After all, he had literally saved her from hell. And so, Ziva hugged her pillow to herself with one hand and gun in the other, and made her way to the bed, the one small light that had been left on already giving her some further security.

_Oh shit. She must know I'm faking my sleep_, Tony thought in a panic. He had actually awoken along with the loud snort he emitted. He had opened his droopy eyes just a crack to see Ziva sitting up and staring at nothing. He closed his eyes and quickly resumed some light snoring so Ziva wouldn't suspect he was awake, and honestly her behaviour was indeed starting to worry him a little. After awhile, he heard padding of feet towards the bed and he thought _Oh I am so busted._

To his surprise however, the other side of the bed dipped and he felt Ziva crawl into the bed and settle herself under the covers. All was still for about a minute. Like the fact that Ziva crawled into 'his' bed wasn't shocking enough, he then felt Ziva's fingers hesitantly search for his hand under the blanket, and grasped it slightly. She couldn't help but feel a great sense of security fall over her being. But-

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><p>Tony felt Ziva's arm stiffen though, almost instantly, and for a split second he wondered why. <em>Oh wait.<em> In his shock, he had stopped his fake snoring and Ziva now knew he was awake. She felt embarrassed really, so thank god she had pulled the covers all the way up half her face, because Ziva really couldn't handle facing Tony right now. She wanted to retract her hand from his fast, but now to her surprise, he gripped her hand tighter and wouldn't let go. He gave her hand a squeeze, trying to tell her it was okay. She understood and returned the squeeze in a way of saying thank you. Feeling safer than she was before, Ziva slowly fell back into slumber, never letting go of Tony's hand.

Tony was still in a bit of a shock. _He was in bed. With Ziva. Holding her hand._ His heart just broke a little. His strong Israeli ninja was insecure enough to crawl into his bed to hold his hand. Yet he found her still strong, as she was in fact doing pretty well for a woman who spent the summer suffering god knows what.

Nobody should force themselves to stay so tough after such an experience, and thus he admired her strong facade. He heard her breathing even out, and knew she was really sleeping when he heard her snoring. _Good_, He thought. The woman more than deserved to let herself derive and attain some extent of security for herself sometimes. Wanting some secure comfort didn't mean she was 'weak'.

After all, she was only human. Smiling to himself, he too fell asleep soon, after the slight shock wore off. But he knew tomorrow, she'd be back to Ziva the almighty ninja, all strong and badass again, not the insecure girl who held his hand to sleep. She was too stubborn to show that.

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><p>Early the next morning, like on clockwork Ziva woke up like she did every morning for a jog. She woke up to find her face nuzzled against a shoulder and with one of her hands enclosed in some large warm one. <em>Tony<em>, She remembered. She was honestly quite grateful, and touched by the little gesture he pulled last night.

But Ziva being Ziva, slipped back into her ninja self, guarded walls and all up yet again. She released her hand from Tony's grasp slowly and went to change into her sports attire. But before she left, she scribbled a note for Tony in case he got worried.

Tony aroused from his sleep slowly when he heard the click of the door and he soon sobered to find his hand empty. He turned around to find a note on where Ziva had slept last night. It read 'Tony, do not worry. I just went for a jog. Be back soon. And thank you.' Tony knew Ziva hated being vulnerable, and thus just the very simple 'thank you' note.

He also knew that she would appreciate if he went on with the day with their usual banter and routine. The norm, they'd say. And...so it did. And when Ziva told their witness that she took the couch and that Tony took the bed, she wasn't exactly lying per se.

She just left out the part where she joined him on the bed later. Not that she would ever tell anybody that she did anyways. Tony however, kept it in his mind that one day, they were gonna talk about it. Talk about Paris. That was a thought for another day.

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><p><strong>Heheh tell me what you thought (:<strong>


	3. 7x14 Masquerade Part 1

"This country holds itself to a higher standard. It is a nation of laws which are to be followed not only when it is convenient or easy. I have seen firsthand, what happens when convenience wins out." Ziva said as-a-matter-of-factly, as her eyes glazed over and she stared into the air for a moment.

"You never talk about it." Tony's voice broke her out of her reverie.

"What is there to talk about?" She brushed it off so expertly.

"C'mon, Ziva." Tony used a serious yet soft tone with her, eyes looking down with concern.

"What Saleem did was bad enough. Becoming like him, would be worse." Ziva cracked, and they both continued searching for evidence.

Tony let the issue go for now, but he wanted to clear the Somalia elephant in the room sooner or later. She couldn't just keep everything to herself.

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><p>"Go home. Get some sleep." Gibbs ordered, dropping down onto his seat at his desk.<p>

McGee had all his stuff and left for the night. He bid everybody a "See you tomorrow." Ziva slowly packed up and was ready to leave in a matter of minutes after McGee had left. "Good night Gibbs." She said as she headed for the elevator.

Tony had purposely delayed his movements just so he could leave at the same time as Ziva, because he planned to have a good talk with her in the elevator.

"Night boss!" Tony said and rushed to catch the same elevator as Ziva.

"Ziva, hold the elevator!" Tony quickened his footsteps.

Ziva didn't seem to have heard him since she didn't wait for him, but Tony managed to stop the elevator by slipping his hand in between the elevator doors.

"Didn't you hear me?" Tony questioned, stepping into the elevator and pressing the 'close' button.

"Yup." Ziva replied nonchalantly.

"Then why didn't you hold the elevator? My hand was this close to being squashed by those heavy metal elevator doors." Tony exaggerated jokingly.

Ziva kept mum, refusing to communicate with him. Tony realised that she wasn't keen on listening to him and thus he dived straight into the issue that nagged at him.

"We need to talk. What you said just now, in the warehouse. What did you mean by all that? You can't just leave me hanging there." Tony said.

"Hanging where?"

"Unm okay never mind scratch that, what I meant wa-"

"What do you want me to scratch?"

Tony gave an exasperated sigh. "Nobody is scratching anyone, god no. No scratching involved at all. It just means tha-wait. Ha! You think I don't see it, but I do. Oh boy, I see what you're doing. You're trying to change the subject!"

"Well it worked, did it not?"

"Okay I'll give you that. But seriously, you have to talk about it sooner or later. It's not good to bottle it all up inside you."

"There is nothing to talk about." She replied, almost using the exact words she told him in the warehouse.

"See that's where I think you're wrong." Tony stated as he flipped the emergency switch, plunging them into darkness.

Ziva's heart skipped a beat, stunning her for a split second before she flipped the emergency switch back. "What are you doing?" She demanded, slightly relieved that the lights came back on.

"Trying to get you to talk to me." Tony said with a tinge of anger in his voice, flipping the emergency switch yet again.

Being in the darkness once more, Ziva's heart rate was increasingly getting erratic. Tony was standing in between her and the emergency switch, and so she shoved him out of her way and flipped the emergency switch back. "Stop that!" She raised her voice slightly.

Tony, having been shoved into the elevator wall, was momentarily dazed. "You need to talk to somebody."

"I will." Ziva replied breathily.

Before Tony could make a comeback, the elevator doors opened having reached its designated floor. Luck seemed to favour Ziva a little bit more today. She hastily made her way to her car, while Tony just stared after her for a while before heading for his car as well._ Well that plan backfired,_ He thought.

Ziva sat in her car, watching Tony drive away. She figured, that she really should talk to somebody. It wouldn't be fair if somebody got hurt thanks to her irrational phobia of the dark. At least, irrational to_ her_. To others who knew that she was kept prisoner for months, it was by no means at all irrational. Ziva prided herself with her hardass personality and asking for help was not her thing. But it had been years since she first stepped into NCIS and asking for help now didn't seem that bad. It would be going against everything she grew up to be, but maybe getting some help would be good, this time. But who would she go to?

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><p>Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was at his desk. He frequently stayed later than most people, everyone in NCIS knew that. And so when he heard the ding of the elevator, it did baffle him on who it could be. He shifted his gaze to the opening elevator doors, to see Ziva awkwardly making her way back into the bullpen. Gibbs stared at her, expecting for her to say something when she stopped in front of him. She stayed silent, thinking of how to put what she wanted to say across. Gibbs just saw her having an internal battle with herself and tried to initiate the impending conversation. "Ziva?" He questioned.<p>

"I need your umm...help. I have a problem, with the dark. Ever since...you know. Help me?" The words tumbled out of her mouth hesitantly, slightly making no sense at all.

But of course, Gibbs knew what she was trying to say. And he was honoured to say the least that she'd turn to him for help. He remembered the last time she asked for help, which was a few years ago when she was framed for a crime she didn't commit. Now, she had not made any eye contact and had refrained from using words like 'afraid' or 'scared'. Gibbs being Gibbs realised all that and he had expected nothing less from Ziva.

"Does anybody know?" He asked, concerned.

"McGee...you."

"McGee?" Now Gibbs was confused.

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Reviews would be pretty nice (:<strong>


	4. 7x14 Masquerade Part 2

_"Does anybody know?" He asked, concerned._

_"McGee...you."_

_"McGee?" Now Gibbs was confused._

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><p>"Yes, I kind of ummm...what was it again? Oh yes, freaked out when the power went down in the whole building and McGee and I were stuck in the elevator for a long time. So...he knows."<p>

Gibbs pondered for a while before a plan hatched in his mind. "Okay let's go."

"Where are we going Gibbs?"

"You'll see." Gibbs gave a vague reply.

He head for the elevator with his things, while Ziva trudged behind him albeit a little embarassed about asking for help. The elevator came and both stepped inside. _Okay here goes nothing,_ Gibbs thought and he flipped the emergency switch, plunging them into darkness. Ziva was caught off-guard and she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. She swiftly moved to flip the emergency switch back and the lights came on.

"Maybe this was a bad idea Gibbs. Forget it." She said shakily.

"You asked for help. So you're gonna get some. You have to trust me." Gibbs flipped the emergency switch yet again.

This was starting to feel like the experience she had with Tony before. The dark consumed the elevator space and Ziva was anxious again. For Gibbs, she tried really hard not to flip the emergency switch back again. So instead, her hand shot out to find Gibbs'. He was standing at a side, out of her reach. Since she couldn't see him nor find him, she panicked.

"Gibbs?" She called out, scared, not that she'd admit to being.

Her breathing got heavier. She tried to be brave, but the darkness to her was very overwhelming. Because, with the dark, she never knew what was in store for her. Not now, not in Saleem's camp, since her eyes were covered most of the time.

"It is getting hotter in here Gibbs. We need to get out." She claimed, as she felt herself being transported back into that hot and sweltering desert place.

"No it's not Ziva." Gibbs finally voiced out.

Gibbs had to make Ziva face her fears slowly. It was the only way. Ziva felt like something was choking her, as she broke into a cold sweat, the hairs on her neck and arms all standing at their ends. She felt the intense need to hide and protect herself. She backstepped into a corner and slid down the elevator wall. She ended up huddled on the floor, arms around her head and eyes squeezed shut, almost like she was preparing for a blow. Meanwhile, Gibbs had used the light from his cellphone to check on Ziva. Seeing her in that vulnerable position, he went to sit beside her as the light of hos cellphone went out when he placed it back in his pocket. Ziva had been too caught up in her self-imposed frenzy that she barely felt Gibbs beside her.

"Something is going to hit me." Ziva admitted, not realising she was giving Gibbs small clues about what had happened to her in Somalia.

Her heavy breaths turned into short ones. "There's nobody here Ziva. Just you and me." Gibbs soothed.

"There is always somebody, Gibbs." She said it like a strangled cry.

As short breaths turned into gasps, her eyes shot open in slight alarm. She couldn't breathe properly. Gibbs slipped his hand into hers, trying to offer comfort from contact. But she jumped, gasping just as much. "It's just me Ziver." He declared softly, as her grip on his hand tightened, palms already turning clammy.

"You need to breathe. Just like me. In through the nose, out through the mouth." He instructed, doing the same as he told her in an attempt to get her to follow him.

Slowly, her breathing became much better. The comforting circles Gibbs' thumb stroked on the back of her hand contributed too. "Better?" Gibbs asked.

"I think so. I am sorry Gibbs."

"Don't apologise, it's a sign of weakness."

"Am I not weak now?"

"Nope. You just survived the past few minutes in the dark. That's not weak if you ask me."

Gibbs gave her hand a significant squeeze. The warmth of his larger hand around hers made her feel protected. It was like the feeling you got from your dad holding your hand and guiding you here or there, just basking in the comfort of having somebody there to tell you what to do sometimes. And Gibbs thought, that everyone, especially Ziva, deserved to feel protected once in a while. And he would gladly be the one to be always protecting her. Like a dad. His heart smouldered with appropriate resentment at the people who were responsible for getting Ziva into this little emotional mess.

"Thank you Gibbs." Ziva said into the fabric covering the edge of his shoulder as she leaned against it.

He responded with a kiss on the side of her head. Gibbs went over to flip the emergency switch back. The lights came back on for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day and the lift started to descend. He stretched out his hand and pulled Ziva back onto her her feet. "You good to head home?" Gibbs had to make sure.

"Yes I will be fine." Ziva said, forcing a smile onto her face.

Her years of Mossad training were back in place as she had a sudden sense of disappointment with herself for even thinking of getting help from Gibbs. She shouldn't be needing help. This was a bad idea. She had better get out of this now.

"Thanks for helping me today Gibbs. I will not need it anymore. Do not worry, I will go see somebody. Like a therapist or something." She rushed out, faking reassurance in her tone.

Gibbs nodded with a counted look, and even if he doubted she would even face her problems, he didn't say anything. Maybe she had to take things at her own pace. So he left her to it. But if she ever needed his help again, he would always be there.

Ziva knew that Gibbs didn't totally believe her, and was relieved when he didn't press on. She had a good team, who gave her the space she needed. For their sake, she told herself to get it together. Obviously, getting it all together would take time.

But today was a good start as any other.

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><p><strong>Gibbs is the awesomest! Leave me a review (:<strong>


	5. 7x15 Jack Knife Part 1

"So, was that like 'see you later' like 'goodbye' or 'see you later' like 'hey, I'm going to see you at a later date'?" Tony asked cheekily, trying to sound all nonchalant.

"Are you, uh, having trouble understanding simple English?" Ziva purposely led him on, smiling.

"Just answer the question." He replied, giving a slightly playful look but it was betrayed by the seriousness in his tone. Ziva in turn played along, raising her eyebrows and keeping silent. Her very subtle smile was gracing her lips as she continued with her report, while Tony continued to stare holes into her.

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><p>"See you tomorrow." Ziva bid as she got up to leave as soon as work ended.<p>

"So I guess that was a 'see you later' like 'see you straight after work'?" Tony joked from across her desk.

Ziva threw a smirk at him and ignored his question. She continued on her way to the elevators and waved a playful goodbye at Tony. This made Tony very intrigued. _Was she really going to meet Damon Werth?_ There was only one way to find out, and so Detective Tony DiNozzo came into play.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Tony bolted from his seat grabbing his things and he rushed down the stairs. He hid himself well as he watched her make her way to her car. At least, he thought he did. Ziva was much more attuned to her surroundings, and it helped that she knew Tony very well. She knew that he wouldn't just give up like that after she had been all so mysterious, and so she had expected him to follow her. And she was going to play along. She got into her car and drove away, and not long after as predicted, She could see Tony's car from her rearview mirror. He hid himself behind several cars, that was clever.

Tony had after all been a detective before. This was routine, and he knew he had this mini operation of his covered. He followed closely as Ziva showed off her crazy driving skills, swerving in and out of lanes and making sharp turns. This was starting to be a problem as Tony was slowly finding it hard to keep eye on her.

Ziva had been driving aimlessly at first, since Tony was following her. She tried random swerving and sudden turns, but Tony's car never ceased to appear somewhere behind. It was getting frustrating, this chasing game. And so Ziva tried to shake him off once and for all. She timed herself precisely, and sped up past a traffic light right before it turned red, causing Tony to be stuck behind. She took a few turns after that to make sure Tony hadn't been able to follow her. Eyes searching, Ziva gave herself a pat on the back as Tony's car was nowhere in sight, and she drove off to the bar she was supposed to meet Damon at.

Tony was pissed. His detective skills had let him down. Or maybe Ziva's driving skills were far too crazy for the average agent. But Tony wasn't just any average agent. He was one Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, and he had more than one trick up his sleeves. He drove back to NCIS, and was relieved to find that everyone on the team had gone home already. He pulled out a search on the GPS signal of Ziva's phone on his computer, and found her to be at some bar not far from where he had lost her. Against contrary belief, Tony had his ways around the computer. He just wasn't as efficient as McGee. But he was definitely efficient enough for this. He just wanted to make sure Werth didn't do anything to Ziva, having had a bad first impression of him when he got punched in the nose. He could trust Ziva, it was Werth he didn't trust. He was being her protective partner, it was his job to worry. And thus he set off for the bar.

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><p>"Ziva! Over here!" Damon called out from a booth at a corner as his eyes fell upon the Israeli as she entered the bar.<p>

"Hey." Ziva stated as she sat down.

"First of all, we need drinks. After the day we had, we need drinks." Damon said with a smile.

"Go ahead, order. I think we need it too." She agreed.

The waiter came back with a big glass of beer for both of them and they chugged their first beer of the night, slowly relieving the tension they felt for the day as the alcohol coursed through their veins. Standing in front of a jack-knifing truck did tend to fray one's nerves.

"So...what's up with you?" Damon initiated the conversation.

"Nothing is up. Or down, or left, or right." Ziva replied, obviously starting to loosen up with the help of beer.

Damon had noticed that she had currently been tenser than she was the last time he met her, a year or two ago. This behaviour piqued his curiosity and concern. "Come on Ziva. Did something happen recently?"

"Nothing happened." Ziva replied defensively.

Compared to her normal self, she was by now less in check of her emotions. But she wasn't intoxicated enough to go talking about her summer experience.

"You think I didn't notice the way you were acting when we were standing in front of the incoming truck?"

In her slightly drunk state, Ziva was still sharply aware of what he was implying. Hence, she dodged all she could. "And how, exactly, was I acting?"

"You weren't scared. That's not it at all." Damon said it like a statement.

Ziva gave an exasperated sigh. "Then what was it?" This wasn't going as planned.

"You looked like you were waiting for the truck to hit you. For a very split moment there, I saw something in your eyes. You, Ziva David, wanted the truck to hit you."

Ziva uttered not a word. She tried to deny it to herself, but she failed. Damon was right. As she stared at the jack-knifing truck screeching against the brakes and heading towards her, she wondered what it would feel like if she died. No dark past, no unspoken secrets, no nightmares, no nothing. _How great would that feel?_ But that thought went away when she told herself she couldn't think that way. Death was the easy way out. And to her, it seemed like something only a coward to do despite the fact that she secretly wished for it at certain times.

"You cannot possibly see things in people's eyes." She said, but she knew that wasn't true. Tony once said that her eyes wouldn't shut up.

"You know very well what I meant Ziva."

"I do not know what you are talking about.

"I'm just trying to help you. You've been dodging all my questions so far. I just...wanna help you. Like you helped me those years back." Damon admitted.

Ziva knew well what he was referring to. It was after the case where the team first met Damon Werth.

**_Flashback_**

_The case was over. The team would probably never see Marine Corporal Damon Werth again, much less keep in contact with him. Gibbs had dropped by the hospital ward where the Corporal was sleeping in, and on the table beside the bed, he left a medal for the Corporal. To some extent, Gibbs felt like he deserved it. Then, Gibbs had left. What he didn't know was that Damon Werth had one more visitor. Ziva David._

_Ziva had waited for Gibbs to leave the hospital before going up to Corporal Werth's ward. It was needless to say that they both had made some sort of connection during the case. It was unusual, but not entirely impossible. It seemed that they were fairly intrigued and slightly drawn towards each other. A unique relationship had started to grow between them and Ziva wanted to help it grow into a proper and strong friendship. It was always good to make friends, and for this man, she was compelled to help him. She didn't know why. But help was always gratefully accepted by those who needed it and she thought she'd help by being his friend. Someone that he could talk and relate to. After all, despite her young age, Ziva probably had much more experiences than most military personnel did._

_As she layed her hand upon the door handle of Damon Werth's ward and opened it, her eyes fell onto the resting figure. Or at least, the previously-resting figure because his eyes were staring at her. She brought her eyes up to meet his directly and he spoke up "I didn't really catch your name yet. Obviously you know mine."_

_"Ziva David."_

_"I recognise you, especially your eyes." That was fairly explainable, since all he did was stare into her eyes before when he was high on steroids. Ziva was silent as she made her way to his bed side._

_"This medal, did you leave it here?" He continued._

_"No. It was Gibbs." She replied, watching him trace the outline of the medal._

_"Did I do that to you?" He gestured towards the bruise on the side of her face._

_"Yes. You injured Agent McGee's hand and broke Agent DiNozzo's nose too."_

_"I am really sorry for doing all that to you guys. You must think I'm nuts huh?"_

_"Not exactly."_

_"I just...I can't forget. I want to, but I can't." He wasn't referring to anything in particular, but Ziva knew what he meant._

_"I understand."_

_"How?"_

_"Mossad. I think I have gone through worse things than you have."_

_"Well that explains it."_

_"But in any case, if you need to talk, or you just need a...friend, here is my number." Ziva explained, passing her name card to him with her number on it. With that, she headed for the door._

_"Thank you, Ziva." Ziva smiled and went home._

_It was maybe about a week later when she got a call on her phone. "David." She answered with a cadence of monotony._

_"Ziva?"_

_"Damon?" Her tone was a bit incredulous. He had actually called her._

_"Yeah, umm can we meet up? I think I need somebody to talk to."_

_"Sure, just tell me where and I will be there._

**_End Of Flashback_**

"Take it like I returned the favour. Just tell me what's going on. Talking helps, I should know. And I think you know it too." Damon coaxed.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>HAHA Cookie-Stories beta-ed it for me. And insisted that I mention it here HEHEH :D<strong>


	6. 7x15 Jack Knife Part 2

_"Take it like I returned the favour. Just tell me what's going on. Talking helps, I should know. And I think you know it too." Damon coaxed._

* * *

><p>Ziva pondered for a while as she continued gulping down beer. Damon did have a point, and they have indeed been good friends as the years progressed. The beer seemed to have loosened her up further and given her a boost of courage. "Okay fine I will tell you."<p>

"I'm listening."

"The past summer, I was...captured, by a man called Saleem. He kept me prisoner in his terrorist cell for about...four months." Ziva said slowly and pointedly.

"I was uhh...tortured for those few months. Saleem and his men found it fun to beat me in any way they could." She spat out.

Emotions were starting to boil beneath her tough exterior. She never managed to meet Damon's eyes as she continued. "At first, I resisted. I thought I would get out. But as I lost track of time, I...gave up. I was ready to die." Her bottom lip had started quivering slightly.

It felt like she was back in interrogation with Gibbs when she told him that she had nothing but death in her heart. Damon was appalled. He knew Ziva had been through much harder times than he had, and those couple of years ago she had still seemed so composed. This had to be something big, to be able to make her vulnerable enough to show such emotions. "And then one day, I see...Tony." Ziva continued, laughing sadly.

"He was the last person I would have thought of seeing. I did not know whether to be...happy, or sad, that the guys came to rescue me. Because now, my life can be a bit of a living hell sometimes. And I am getting tired." She finished flatly.

Defying all logic and sense in the world, a lone tear escaped from the shelter of her eyelid and cascaded down the contours of her cheek, leaving a wet trail that glistened and reflected under the light. She rubbed it away quickly, disappointed yet again for not being able to control her emotions. It had been happening a lot lately. Damon was speechless to say the least. Ziva actually wanted to die, heck she almost literally died. He noticed her fingers gripping tightly around the glass. As he reached his hand out to touch hers in an attempt to provide some comfort, he was pulled by the collar of his shirt.

"What did you do to her?" It was Tony.

* * *

><p>Tony had finally found the bar. Ziva wasn't expecting him at all, since she thought she had lost him on the road back there. He parked his car a street away in case Ziva recognised it, and walked towards the bar. It wasn't a bad looking bar, but he hadn't been to it before. <em>Huh, this could be my new hangout<em>, Tony simply just had a random thought. He entered the bar as soon as a group of men walked in, so he could blend in and not get noticed. He scanned the bar for Ziva or Werth and then settled at a table not far, but not near either, from their booth.

He was watching them, hiding his face behind the glass of scotch he ordered, his eyes just peeking above the brim of the glass. He couldn't care less about Werth, but he observed him as well. He was watching their facial expressions like a hawk, every twitch, and scrunch, frown or smile since he was too far to listen in on their conversation. At first when he started observing them, both had tired looks on. Werth then put out a concerned expression, while Ziva looked impassive. As they continued talking, Werth was still looking concerned, his eyebrows slightly sloping down at their far sides. Ziva broke out into a different expression then. Oh he recognised that look on her face all right. It was her defensive look. He had seen it too many times when she found the need to prove herself and her actions.

Ziva's eyes then glazed over just a bit, looking like she was remembering something. Werth on the other hand started talking again, snapping Ziva out of her bubble of thoughts. Next thing he knew, Ziva's shoulders sagged forward as she proceeded to talk, keeping a reserved expression across her face. She paused in between her sentences, and she broke out in laughter, but with a wistful look rather. And then, her face went all stoic again.

This time, he saw a tear fall. She tried to swipe it away quickly, but Tony caught sight of it quite easily. Alarm bells started going off in his head. _What the hell? She teared. She just teared! It must have been that Werth guy, I should've known better! God, he's gonna get it when I get over there! _Tony scolded in his mind as he stood up abruptly, striding quickly to their booth.

"What did you do to her?" He questioned vehemently as he gripped the collar of Damon's shirt, pulling him closer to himself.

Damon knew better than to fight back. He didn't do anything, he just had to get that point across to Tony. He tried to slowly pry Tony's fingers off his shirt before standing against his accusation, but that part was covered. "What are you doing Tony? Let go of him!" Ziva exclaimed.

"Yeah DiNozzo. I didn't do anything. I swear." Damon said clearly.

Tony didn't release Damon just yet. He looked over at Ziva for confirmation of what he just heard, and he got a swat to the arm. "It is true, now let him go already!" She demanded.

Tony unclenched his fingers which made creases on Damon's shirt and stood back. "I think I better go. I'll call you Ziva. That's a promise. So don't busy-tone me." Damon announced, giving Ziva small smile as he got out of the booth.

He knew he'd better give Tony and Ziva some private time. "Okay, I am sorry about Tony." Ziva apologised for the rash behaviour of her partner.

"You know I'm still here right?" Tony interrupted with an deadpan look.

Ziva simply rolled her eyes and ignored him. "Don't worry about it. He's just being protective." Damon whispered as he went over to Ziva's side of the booth, kissing her goodbye on the cheek like before. With that he left, giving Tony a straight face and a nod. Tony stared hard at Damon's figure getting smaller and smaller with distance.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at Damon hoping he would spontaneously combust?" Ziva huffed.

"Well, combust already." Tony muttered without looking at her.

Ziva heard what he had said under his breath, and crossed her arms in irritation. Tony looked over at her and slid into the booth, sitting where Werth had just been. Within seconds of sitting, Ziva opened her mouth again. "What were you thinking!"

"I saw you crying!"

"Then why did you grab Damon!"

"I thought he was the one that made you upset!"

"And what made you think that!"

"Well he's the only one with you, isn't he?" The whole conversation so far came out in angry whispers.

It wasn't that good an idea to cause a commotion in the bar. With Tony's last sentence, Ziva went silent. She had nothing to rebuke him with. He was just being the over-protective partner he was. And she couldn't really blame him for that. Although assaulting Damon wasn't really a good way to go. "Look, I'm sorry okay? That was impulsive." Tony admitted.

Ziva just looked at him and said nothing. There wasn't really a topic for conversation at hand. She didn't know where to go with this. Tony however, perceived that she was still silently fuming."You know what? Give me his number, I'll call and apologise." He said, trying to make amends.

Ziva broke into a smile. She could only imagine Tony apologise to the man that put him on painkillers for a broken nose. But she was warmed by the fact that he'd do that to make her happy. "No joke, I'll call him Uncle if you- What? What are you smiling at? Do I have something on my face?" Tony asked, bewildered and touching his face which caused Ziva to smile wider.

"Nothing is on your face. You just make me smile sometimes."

"Sometimes? Only sometimes? You just bruised my poor ego. And there I thought I was doing pretty awesome!" He pouted.

"Your inflated ego needs some deflating." She reached over and slapped his cheek playfully, to which he whined "Ow."

"Don't be such a baby, I barely even touched you."

"So, you wanna tell me why you were upset?" Tony ventured with caution as he threw the question at her out of the blue.

Ziva's face hardened. "I would rather not talk about it."

"That's what you said the last time."

"And it is still what I am saying this time." Ziva answered angrily.

Tony's voice became softer as he asked "Why won't you tell me? I just wanna help."

Ziva's glare softened and she felt anger dissipate from her being. She too, answered with a quiet voice "I am not ready to talk about it with you. Or anybody else from the team for that matter."

Tony just stared at her with gentle eyes, somewhat pleadingly. And there was hurt in his eyes. He must have been upset that Ziva could talk to some Damon Werth but not talk to them. But sometimes, it was easier to talk to someone that wasn't that close to you. With someone you care about and are close to, the fear of being judged would always be there. And it will matter all the more, because that person mattered. Most hurtful of them all, the personal shame would be overwhelming. Ziva knew this, but Tony probably didn't stop to try and put himself in such a position at that moment.

"I promise, one day. One day I'll tell you. One day." Ziva said firmly, repeating her words not so much to him, than it was to remind herself.

And honestly, Tony couldn't find it in himself to ask for more at that moment. He'd leave her be. When she was ready, she'd talk. He would wait. Thus he nodded, saying "Okay."

He held out his pinky, smiling as he asked "Pinky-promise?"

"I recognise this gesture, but I have no idea what a pinky-promise is. I assume it has something to do with promises." Ziva chuckled.

But she grew more serious and hooked her pinky with his, continuing "But yes, I promise Tony."

At the sight of their childish hooked pinkies, both agents broke out in light laughter. Tony was happy to see Ziva smiling. He loved it when she smiled.

He decided he'd personally take on the job of putting a smile on her face every now and then, and he would never stop.

And he would be patiently waiting for that one day when she would be ready. Ready for what?

Nobody knew..._yet._

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>I give up, I have exhausted my limited vocabulary.<strong>


	7. 7x18 Jurisdiction Part 1

"Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?" Tony asked with his hands full with their drinks and a bowl of popcorn.

"It is just a movie, Tony." Ziva stated.

"How dare you?" He said jokingly, putting down the popcorn and handing Ziva a drink.

"Is Mickey just a mouse? Ringling Brothers just a circus?" He continued.

"Yes." She states as a matter-of-factly.

Tony chuckled and replied "Well, you see, that's why you don't have any friends."

"I do have friends!" Ziva said incredulously.

"Really? Then what are you doing with me, watching a movie on a Friday night at work? Huh?" Tony ribbed her.

"You are my friend." Ziva bit her straw for a bit before replying, not looking at him.

"Really?" Tony's expression changed.

"No. My date canceled." Ziva said with a slight smile.

"Mine, too." Tony mimicked and he focused back onto the movie in front of them.

Ziva had seen through his lie. Being partners with Tony for so many years, she had attuned herself to Tony and most of the time, she knew when he was lying. She turned her head towards him, intending to call him out on his lie. But he was looking quite adorable, all engrossed in the movie they were watching. Ziva contemplated for a few seconds, before returning her gaze back to the screen in front of her. She'd let this go. For now.

* * *

><p>Halfway through the movie, she mumbled something to Tony. "I lied."<p>

Tony who was paying attention to the screen didn't catch what she had said. "What?"

"I said I lied."

"About what?"

"I did not have a date. I did not want it to seem like I had no life outside NCIS. So I lied."

"Oh. Well we're even then, I lied too."

"I know."

"No, you were definitely just guessing. I think I was pretty convincing back there!" Tony exclaimed like a child.

"My 'Tony Lie Detector' has improved over the years." Ziva smirked.

"Well so did my 'Ziva Lie Detector'!" Tony rebutted ridiculously.

"Oh really?" Ziva asked sarcastically.

"Yes really." Tony replied in a similar sarcastic tone.

"Okay then. Let us test it out Tony. Number One, I watch all the movies that you told me about. True or false?"

"True." Tony smiled triumphantly.

"Lucky guess! Number Two, I had falafel for a whole week before. True or false?"

Tony closed his eyes and raised his arms in the air to add some dramatic effect to the question. At that moment, Ziva caught sight of Gibbs walking back into the bullpen, which was weird because he had already left earlier. "False!" Tony exclaimed, keeping his eyes closed to seem all mystic.

"Wrong. I was obsessed with falafels for a while. Last one. Gibbs is standing behind you. True or false?" Ziva asked knowing that Gibbs would hear it, which he did.

Gibbs slowly and silently made his way behind Tony's chair, which Tony would have noticed if he would have just opened his eyes and give up the 'psychic' act. "What are you talking about? Gibbs left already. You're trying to do some Jedi mind trick on me to throw me off, aren't you! So it's false!" Tony proclaimed, opening his eyes and grinning widely.

Ziva was confused once again at that Star Wars reference, but had no chance of asking him. "Wrong DiNozzo." Gibbs suddenly made his presence known as he slapped Tony upside the back of his head.

Tony jumped in surprise. "Woah Boss! How did yo-When did you- I mean, what are you doing back here boss?"

"Left something in my drawer. Watch your movie, whatever it is." He said gruffly and went over to his desk.

Tony and Ziva knew better than to stare at their boss, so they stared at the screen. Pretending to take what he needed, Gibbs left the bullpen typically without saying a word, leaving the two partners with their movie again. He didn't forget anything actually, he just wanted to come back to check on Tony and Ziva. They were sorta like his kids after all, and there was that thing about Rule 12. He just wanted to make sure it wasn't broken for now.

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva were about back to the movie for about half an hour when Ziva let out a yawn. She was getting sleepy and her eyes were getting dry. But she refused to go home. For one, she didn't want to disappoint Tony. And the other, was that she didn't want to feel alone in her house facing four walls which kept her enclosed. At least here, there was Tony.<p>

Tony had obviously heard that significant yawn and turned to look at her, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"I am just a little bit tired. Headache. Long day." It wasn't entirely fake, nor true, as her occasional nightmares did keep her awake a few times.

"You should go home then." Tony couldn't help but flash a split second look of disappointment, which Ziva didn't miss.

"No I want to watch this movie. I am just going to sit at my desk so I can rest my head while watching." She clarified, as she pushed her chair back to her desk, which was conveniently opposite from the screen.

"After all you did say that it was an adventure of a lifetime. How could I miss it?" Ziva said yet again sarcastically, smiling away.

"It is!" Tony defended his movie.

"Whatever you say." Ziva entertained his defensiveness.

Tony laughed and turned back to the movie, while Ziva cupped her chin in her hands, elbows resting on her desk as she too, continued with the movie. But within minutes, she had started nodding off in her hands. Finally, she decided to cross her arms on her desk, making a temporary 'pillow' for herself. She lay her head down, shifting till she got more comfortable, and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Hey Ziva look at this part." Tony being the movie manic he was, wanted to make sure Ziva caught the good parts.<p>

Keeping his eyes glued to the screen, he spoke again. "Watch this, watch this."

"Ziva are you paying any atten-" He turned around to see her head sprawled on her desk, sleeping.

Tony stared at her dozing figure for a while. He couldn't figure it out, but something felt missing. _Ahah! She isn't snoring. Wait what?_ This wasn't typical of Ziva. At least, not typical during the times he actually was present when she was sleeping. She usually snored. Why wasn't she snoring now?

He went over to her, having the intention to check on her. But arriving by her side, he couldn't help but notice that the back of her shirt had ridden up due to her leaning forward onto the table. And there, he found the marred beauty of her tan skin.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Any ideas? I could use ideas (:<strong>


	8. 7x18 Jurisdiction Part 2

_He went over to her, having the intention to check on her. But arriving by her side, he couldn't help but notice that the back of her shirt had ridden up due to her leaning forward onto the table. And there, he found the marred beauty of her tan skin._

* * *

><p>Two long ones as far as his eyes could see. One was much more faded than the other. Tony figured as much that the more faded scar was sustained when she was younger. She did mention before that her father had started training her at a tender age. The newer scar however, Tony just had a feeling that she had gotten it in that hell hole in Somalia. And he knew there were much more scars where that came from. He felt like he was invading her privacy and refused to delve any further into his thoughts. He reached out to pull her shirt down to cover her exposed skin, but was greeted with an unpleasurable reaction.<p>

Almost instantly, as the tip of Tony's fingers trailed the end of Ziva's shirt lightly, she sprang up from the table. Swiftly, she spun her chair around and drew her gun from her hip, pointing the cool metal object against the chest of her supposed assailant.

"Woah!" Tony was utterly taken by much surprise, as he raised both his hands in surrender, trying to show Ziva that he wasn't posing a threat.

Staring at a barrel of a gun being shoved against his chest, he couldn't help but be reminded of the last time this happened to him. In Israel. Put at the bad end of the gun, by the same person. He took a good look at Ziva. Her breathing was laboured, her hands actually kept shaking alike how a bobble-head kept bobbling, and her eyes...her eyes were wild and it flittered all over Tony's face. Tony felt like every pore on his face was being scanned by her feral gaze.

This was so wrong. This was scaring him. He wasn't scared much for himself though. Yes, the wavering gun against the expanse of his chest was quite impeding to his judgement. However it was Ziva's behaviour that was scaring him. This wasn't Ziva. Hell, who was he really kidding? Ziva had ceased to be Ziva when she came back from Somalia. Everyone could see the subtle differences. She was a bit more tense, her emotions managing to occasionally escape to the surface. Trying to avoid any conversation about Somalia also spoke volumes about how she was handling it all.

"Ziva, can you put the gun down?" Tony said gently, back still straight against whatever filing cabinets were behind him.

"Please?" Tony tried again when Ziva continued looking at him in her dream-state gaze.

She seemed to have a problem recognising him. Tony had to be more aggressive to snap her out of it. "It's Tony, c'mon it's me. Ziva!" He raised his voice at her name.

Ziva flinched at the offending volume, as she slowly took in her partner's face. Tony could see recognition flicker over her countenance. Her eyes fell onto the object she had against his chest, and her eyes widened. She jerked the gun away and holstered it safely. Unable to meet his eyes, Ziva turned back in her chair, leaving Tony rubbing the spot where the gun might have bruised him a little. She hid her face in her hands, choking out a few muffled words. "I am so sorry Tony."

Tony's ears would have picked up her voice anywhere. He heard her quiet words and replied "Nah it's okay. Been in that position before."

That came out wrong. He had just wanted to let Ziva know that it was nothing, and everything was fine. But once his words were out, he regretted phrasing it in that manner. He didn't plan on making it sound like that. He stuttered "No I di- I didn't mean it that way, I wa-"

"No you are right. You have been in that position before. Because of me." Ziva admitted, dropping her head on the desk.

"I never meant to hurt you that day, in Tel Aviv." She realised they never exactly touched on this since she came back, and so she found it necessary to say so.

"But you did." Tony bluntly admitted.

He had the right to be at least a bit angry, and he had been masking the slight anger up for a long time. He was hurt by the lack of trust she displayed, yes. But what hurt more was having his partner actually draw her gun on him intentionally.

"I know. I deeply regret what I did that day."

"It would be nice if you could look me in the eye and talk." Tony spoke through gritted teeth, repressed anger appropriately showing its head.

Ziva was glad that he was angry. He deserved to be angry. She was silently drowning in guilt with the concern showered over her after being back from Somalia. He was being too nice to her. Everyone was. They all forgave her when they were supposed to be angry. She lifted her head off the table, to find Tony's face in front of hers, his hands gripping the edges of her desk as he leaned against it.

"I never said it, but I am very sorry for pointing the gun to your chest and blaming you for everything." She looked him square in the eye.

"I am sorry." She whispered, puffs of warm air reaching Tony's face as her face ducked down slightly and her eyes went south in shame.

That apology did it. Not much the spoken words, but the look in her eyes. Tony wasn't angry anymore. He couldn't. It was like every fiber of his being forbade him to stay upset at the ninja before him. He felt all negative feelings dissipate into thin air, as his eyes softened at the lugubrious look on his partner's face. He walked back behind the desk, stopping beside her.

"Hey." He got her attention by bringing a finger to her chin, tilting her face back up and towards him so he could look at her.

"You know I'll always forgive you." He put forth smiling, retracting his finger to tap it on the tip of her nose.

Upon that gesture, Ziva stared at him silently._ Oh god I overdid it. She's gonna either cry or kill me, _Tony fathomed. To his surprise though, she scrunched her nose, grumbling "Now my nose feels itchy."

Leave it to Ziva to come up with such replies at weird timings. Tony chuckled at her comment, causing her to break into a child-like giggle. It must have been the angels singing because that was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Tony grinned widely in return, proud that he had made his ninja happy once again.

Caught with Ziva's bubbly mood being back again, Tony had pushed aside the need to question Ziva further about her troubled sleep and all. But part of him maybe knew why. And Ziva knew he would figure out some things for himself eventually.

But ultimately, she was relieved that she didn't need to have a conversation of a certain kind with him that day. She wasn't ready.

Tony, well, he didn't want to ruin the moment. He wanted so much to be the one to create more of such opportunities, opportunities to make her happy. He wanted to _be the one_ to make her laugh.

And as many thoughts ran through his head, she was still giggling and scratching her nose.

He never did stop smiling that night.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>I wanna do episode tags of Season 8! But which episodes? Help me! Which ones do you think can be developed?<strong>


	9. 7x21 Obsession Part 1

"Dana?" Tony called out as the floorboards creaked, echoing against the walls of the silent house.

"I am surprised you did not call me Laura." It was Ziva.

"Cop falls for a missing woman, 1944 Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews." She continued.

"You making a film reference, go figure." Tony said slightly dejected, looking at the piano keys which his fingers trailed over slowly.

"Tony, this is a murder investigation, okay? This is not a movie. Dana Hutton is missing and maybe dead like her brother. She is not just gonna walk in through that door and into your life!" Ziva rushed out in exasperated whispers, hands gesticulating in different directions.

Tony knew she was right. As he saw sense in her words, even the slightest smile slid off his face as it grew somber.

* * *

><p>"How did it go?" Gibbs asked as he saw Tony walk into his basement.<p>

"Uh, she went peacefully." Tony replied as he picked up tool and toyed with it.

His brooding expression remained as he stared at the tool his fingers were playing with. "You okay?" He heard Gibbs ask.

"Not really." He replied hoarsely.

He found some wood to sit on and his whole being slumped onto it, as he heard glasses clinking against each other. Gibbs long had his bourbon and shot glasses ready, and all he had to do was make use of them when Tony got here.

"I broke Rule Number 10. Again." He spoke up again, pausing for a while to receive the glass of bourbon Gibbs offered him.

"Never get personally involved in a case." He opened up yet again, staring only forward.

"Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with." Gibbs divulged, staring at the swirling liquid held in his hand.

Tony turned to stare at his boss for a few seconds, feeling his agony. The lines on his forehead and around his mouth seemed to etch deeper, emphasising his despondence. From the corner of his eye, he saw Gibbs raise his glass to his lips, gulping all the bourbon in it in one gulp. Gibbs set the glass down, dropping the nails he had previously emptied from it, back in. He then proceeded to work on his wood.

In a way, Gibbs was teaching him something. When something is done, it's done. Brood over it for a while, maybe drink some bourbon. And then get up and move on. Gibbs had always been the father figure for his team, and it was natural that they would try to model themselves after him. Tony hesitantly put the glass to his lips and threw back the burning liquid into his throat. He put the tool down on the floor and shuffled his feet across to Gibbs, placing the glass in front of him. "Thanks Boss." Tony said gratefully and turned on his heel to leave.

It was in his own fashion that Gibbs didn't really acknowledge Tony when he was right beside him. But once Tony started on his way up the basement stairs, Gibbs looked up at the retreating figure of his senior agent. In some ways, they were pretty similar. But he didn't want that for Tony, and so he tried his best to push him in the right direction. Although sometimes a blunt approach would be needed, for Tony could be quite dense at times.

As Tony left Gibbs' place, the uncomfortable tug pulling against his chest had only elevated just that bit. He got into his car and just drove into the night, still caught up on the death of a woman he had barely met. He wanted to talk to someone. Yeah sure, Gibbs did help. But there was only so much that Gibbs could do for him. With the same circling thoughts in his head, Tony kept on driving. In 15 minutes, he found himself parked on the street where Ziva resided at.

He stared at Ziva's windows. As expected, she wasn't asleep although it was already about 2am. He vaguely knew the reasons for such a sleeping pattern, but today he didn't feel like taking a step down that road. He could see flickering lights, and assumed that Ziva was watching television. _I don't think she'd be too angry if I go up now right? She isn't sleeping anyway. She might use the company, _Tony reasoned with himself as he thrummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Ah hell, here goes nothing." He muttered under his breath as he finally exited his car. All he wanted at that moment was not to be alone. And the perfect company would be his partner of 4 years. He knew she had his back.

* * *

><p>Ziva didn't want to sleep. Sometimes, the stress from her job got to her and triggered some unwanted and unpleasant dreams. In such situations, sleep meant dreams. Dreams probably meant nightmares. Nightmares resulted in anxiety. And anxiety meant no sleep. Thus the whole equation boiled down to where she saw no point in sleeping. Sure, she might be tired out of her mind the next day, but that wasn't what a good amount of caffeine couldn't fix.<p>

The recent case bothered her. Tony was literally obsessed with a woman he had never met, and had been quite upset at her unfortunate demise. She saw no logic in all that. But there were some things in life we couldn't explain, so maybe this was one of those things. Tony's predicament didn't fail to remind Ziva of a similar experience she had a few years ago. Tony and Ziva in fact weren't that different from each other.

Ziva was on her couch, blanket covering her around her shoulders as she held her pillow to her mouth ending right below her nose. She was watching Mission Impossible 3. She had watched the previous ones on another sleepless night, and today she embarked on the action-packed sequel. She was right at the part where Ethan Hunt was crying as he tried to negotiate with the felon not to shoot his wife. Tom Cruise's acting was formidable, for Ziva felt the sting of impending tears before her eyes. As she watched closely as the fate of Ethan Hunt's wife was seemingly almost sealed, a knock on her door practically made her jump off her couch as it tore her attention away from the terrific scene in the movie.

Ziva frowned. Who in the right mind would knock on her door at 2am? She decided to ignore it, hoping the person would be nice enough to take the hint and go away.

"Ziva I know you're in there." It was Tony.

She groaned inwardly. What did he want now?

"C'mon open the door please."

Ziva rose to her feet upon the magic word. She silently made her way to the door, but made no effort to open it.

"I am asleep." She said, not yet willing to open the door.

"No you aren't sleeping. Otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me right now."

"Maybe I was."

"No you weren't."

Ziva opened the door, hand on her hip. "And how would you know that?"

"My gut."

Ziva gave him a disbelieving look.

"Fine I was on the street looking at your window." Tony admitted with a roll of eyes as he nudged his way into Ziva's house.

"Oh please, come right in." Ziva mumbled sarcastically.

Tony made his way to the couch and dropped down heavily on it. Grabbing the pillow Ziva had left there when she got up to answer the door, he sighed loudly, the sad sound reverberating throughout the walls of her place. He hugged the soft pillow to himself.

"Sure go ahead, feel free to take my pillow too." Ziva muttered with a roll of eyes as she made her way into his view.

This time he took a proper look at her. She had a blanket around her, wearing a T-shirt and slacks which were long enough to drag along the floor. She looked cute.

"What do you want Tony?"

"Can we talk?" Tony said as he buried his chin in the pillow which he held in his embrace.

Well that was straightforward. Ziva plopped down on the far side of the couch and turned towards him, legs up on the couch and crossed. Her elbows dug into her knees, her hands cupping her cheeks and chin as she leaned forward to hear what Tony had to say.

"Well you were right, I was obsessed with Dana."

"I know. It was quite foolish." Ziva was just being truthful, but it came out blunt.

"Well I wouldn't expect you to understand what I felt." Tony mumbled angrily.

"You are talking to the person who fell in love with a dead man walking. I think I understand perfectly." Ziva spat out.

Tony wasn't ready to back down. All the emotions he held in needed an escape route, and his subconscious chose this one. Somewhere deep in his mind, he knew provoking Ziva this way was wrong. He knew more than enough about her temper. But he did it anyways, which wasn't the plan. He came to talk. Well that was of no use now.

"Yeah that was pretty stupid of you as well." Tony shot out in tactless haste.

Ziva was pissed. That actually hurt. Some things from that period of time she had preferred to keep bottled up came spewing rapidly out of her mouth as she rose to her feet, ready to intimidate.

"Seriously?" Her tone was bitter with a hint of rage.

"Well, yeah. You sure know how to pick 'em."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>I know I'm a weird person, but I like conflict between characters :O<strong>


	10. 7x21 Obsession Part 2

_"Yeah that was pretty stupid of you as well." Tony shot out in tactless haste._

_Ziva was pissed. That actually hurt. Some things from that period of time she had preferred to keep bottled up came spewing rapidly out of her mouth as she rose to her feet, ready to intimidate._

_"Seriously?" Her tone was bitter with a hint of rage. _

_"Well, yeah. You sure know how to pick 'em."_

* * *

><p>There was a sharp intake of breath as he struck a nerve. "Stupid? You want to talk about stupid? Okay. Let us talk about stupid! I was stupid enough to think you were sick when you were actually off somewhere romancing a doctor! I was stupid enough to talk to Gibbs about it! I was stupid enough to tell Ducky that I was worried! I was stupid enough to make Agent Cassidy hate me so she would feel better! And it was stupid that I did it for you because I thought-" She took a moment to catch her breath, inhaling one deep breath before continuing in a lower voice "-I thought she meant something to you. Do you know how stupid all of that sounds right now? Very."<p>

Ziva's eyes stared down into Tony's ever so menacingly. But in her mind she went 'Oh shit. I blurted out everything.' Tony sunk back into the cushioned couch even more, gulping against the lump forming in his throat. He almost jumped out of his skin when Ziva yanked her pillow out of his grasp muttering under her breath "Give me back my pillow you douche bag." She claimed back her pillow and stormed into her room, the pillow swinging wildly.

Tony had it coming, really. He came here to talk, but he had to go say what he had said. The 'douche bag' term was a nice touch, he had to admit, since he was the one who taught her about it in the first place. _Argh I messed up pretty bad, _Tony figured as he groaned into the air.

He reached behind his head and gave himself a Gibbs head slap. That would be what Gibbs would do if he was there. Tony rubbed his face a few times, inhaling deeply as he set his hands on his knees and pushed himself to stand. He walked over to Ziva's room and stood right at the door. He had some clearing up and making up to do.

"Ziva?" He asked as he knocked on the door.

Silence.

"I'm sorry."

Silence yet again.

Tony knew Ziva was pissed. The apology didn't work. What now? He screwed up. He faced the adjacent wall and knocked his head against it again and again, the sound of forehead meeting wall clearly heard throughout the house.

"What have I done?" Knock.

"I'm the stupid one." Knock.

"Now she doesn't wanna see me." Knock.

"What's wrong with me?" Knock.

"This sucks." Knock.

"My forehead is starting to hurt." Knock.

"I have got to be the most-"

"Can you please stop hitting your head against my wall!" Ziva emerged from her room, annoyed beyond description from the offending noise Tony made.

Tony was about to knock his head again when he heard Ziva's voice. He turned around and surprisingly smiled. "I knew I'd get you out of the room." He said looking proud of himself.

"Oh well congratulations then." Ziva retorted and made a move towards her room again until larger fingers caught hold of her hand hastily.

"Look I'm sorry. Can we please talk? Please?" Tony mustered the most sincere look he could give, to which Ziva relented.

"Fine." She obliged as they went back to the couch.

"Talk then." Ziva said, still fuming on the inside.

"I didn't mean to call you stupid. You called me foolish."

"Which you are."

"Okay okay, bottom line is that I'm sorry."

"I guess...I am sorry too. I did not mean to call you foolish. I just did not see how you could get obsessed with Dana Hutton."

"I don't know either...honestly."

"Neither did I."

Realisation crossed Tony's face. She was talking about the owner of the orange beanie. They were silent for a while. Tony ran through his head again, the contents of her rant just now. He felt the compelling urge to ask her what was that all about.

"So umm, you said something about me being sick right? Just now?"

Ziva was expecting this. She knew her outburst would turn back to bite her in her ass. "I...did not say that."

"Yes you did. I may be foolish but I'm not deaf."

"Fine. You were making and receiving calls from the hospital. So I thought you had the pneumonic plague again. I researched it. Now I have an amazingly vast knowledge on the subject." She laughed slightly at her last sentence.

"And you told Gibbs?"

"Yeah. But he did not think it was the case though. And apparently he was right."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Not your fault. Like I said before, orders are orders."

"What was the thing with Ducky?"

"Oh you were supposed to meet up with us that evening, at the bar. But after quite a while you didn't show. I had this...feeling. A bad one. I told Ducky about it and he psychoanalysed me." She laughed yet again. Psychoanalyse was a weird word.

"But I was right though, about that bad feeling. Because the next thing we knew, the car we thought you were in exploded." Ziva continued.

"Oh." Tony had no words to reply with.

And all that while during that period of time, he had thought that she wasn't really bothered by the whole incident. When he returned to the bullpen all safe and sound to find Ziva playing with his letter-opener, she seemed so unfazed. And according to McGee and Abby, she had given him up for dead already. He was thus very much surprised that he had actually caused her so much worry during the whole Jeanne business.

"Then what about Paula?"

Ziva sighed as she continued to explain. It was supposed to be Tony talking, not her. That was the reason he came in the first place. "She had all this pent up anger, when she lost her team. So I acted a bit like a umm...like-like a hmm..." She didn't know what the word to use was.

"A bitch?" Tony chuckled, remembering how Ziva acted in front of Paula those years back.

"Ah yes! That. So I did that, to make her hate me or something. Gibbs warned me that her hatred may be for life, but it was no big deal. Lots of people hated me already. One to the list was fine." She waved it off like it was nothing.

"People don't hate you."

"Yes they do. I am not proud to say that I have tortured many people during my time in Mossad. And I have also spoiled many people's plans under orders. They definitely do hate me and possibly want me dead." Ziva clarified with a sad laugh.

"Don't worry, I got your back."

"I know you do."

"And you got mine."

"That I do."

"So...you did all that for me huh?" Tony broke the seriousness between them with a cheeky remark.

"What? You are my partner. It is my job." Ziva went all playfully defensive.

"That's nonsense Ziva."

"Fine, you are my friend. That is why."

"Fair enough. Much better answer." He nudged her arm with his elbow.

Ziva got up and walked away from the couch. Tony was surprised. Did he say something wrong? But before he could turn around or get up, Ziva's voice rang out. "Tony DiNozzo! You made a crack in my nice, fake wall with your hard head!" She scolded, staring at a crack in the hollow wall that served as a partition.

"I like the crack-less wall better." She mumbled loud enough for Tony to hear.

Tony stifled a full-blown laughing spree. He had come to find Ziva in the hopes of feeling better about the whole Dana Hutton issue. And Ziva never failed to make him feel happier.

As Ethan Hunt would say it, Mission Accomplished.

* * *

><p><strong>Awesome. Mission Impossible movies are AWESOME. Anyways, I'm gonna start on a new story! It's some fic that goes AU after Episode 9x13. But I'm still thinking though. I feel like adding information from these episode tags that I do into that fic, because I don't think my ideas can get any better than the ones I've written here. My creativity has its limits! :D<strong>

** So I feel like re-using only some of the info from this whole fic, to infuse them into the new one. Hmm, I shall enter a cave now and seek some literary enlightenment. And by cave, I mean under my blanket.**

**Farewell.**


	11. 7x23 Patriot Down Part 1

"Why would you let someone get away with rape?" McGee was intrigued.

"Perception. Burrows is in the military. If a woman cries rape, no man on that ship would ever totally trust her again." Ziva replied, getting a distant look in her eyes.

"Well, you're a woman. What would you do?"

"I am different. After torturing them until they cried like babies, I would castrate them and give them what they deserve." Ziva said straight-forwardly, barely sparing a glance at McGee.

"Hmm. Spoken like a true almost-American." Tony sidled up next to her.

She barely acknowledged his presence when Gibbs came striding in. Ziva was upset. It wasn't obvious, but from her slightly downcast eyes Tony could tell. McGee was gonna get it so bad later. Not from Ziva. From him.

* * *

><p>The case was closed, the truth was out. And Tony had something on the top of his To-Do List. All he needed was an opportunity.<p>

The three agents on Team Gibbs had to finish up their case reports before they could go home. Tony had just returned from a wash of the face in the restroom to find Ziva missing from her table. "Where's Ziva?" Tony asked his geek.

"Coffee run. She's done with her report."

"How long has she been gone?"

"About ten minutes."

"So that means I still have time."

"Still have time for what?" McGee asked, faking disinterest.

"For this." Tony started walking closer to McGee.

"Tony...what are you doing? Why are you walking towar-" McGee was cut off when Tony's hand collided with the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"You deserve it." Smack.

"What did I do!" McGee exclaimed as he tried to dodge Tony's hand.

"What did you do?" Smack.

"You asked Ziva-" Smack.

"-a stupid question!" Smack.

"What did I ask!" McGee shot out of his chair, rubbing the tender back of his head.

"You asked her what she'd do if she was raped! Didn't think that one through, did ya?" Tony threw his hands up.

McGee's eyes widened when he came to terms of what he had asked Ziva. That was unchartered territory. "I-I...god I didn't- Shit." McGee stuttered.

"Shit is an understatement. We don't even know what happened to her that summer."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising to me? You should be apologising to Ziva."

"Then I accept your apology McGee." A feminine voice reached their ears.

"Ziva!" Both male agents straightened up in surprise.

"I got coffee." Ziva raised her hand which held a few more coffee cups.

Tony took the coffee from her awkwardly and sat back at his desk. McGee was standing uneasily at a side. His face was obviously plagued with guilt.

"It is okay McGee." Ziva said as she handed him his coffee.

He held the warm coffee cup in his hands, the shame of being tactless still rising. Seeing his McGee's expression, Ziva continued "I am over it anyway."

Tony and McGee's head snapped up. "You mean...you really got uhh..." McGee was taken aback slightly by the revelation.

"Yup." Ziva replied as she sat back in her own chair, while McGee had to take a seat too for his legs were getting weak.

"Was it umm...in Somalia?" Tony treaded as lightly as he could.

Ziva's face hardened at the mention of that hell hole, but answered with a "No."

"Then when?" Tony ventured further, now a bit confused.

Ziva didn't plan on the conversation getting so far. But since she started it, she figured she might as well spill the rest of the beans. "Well, I was fourteen."

_**Flashback**_

_It was the year 1996. It had been two years since her half-brother had graduated from Edinburgh Medical College and he had been working in Edinburgh ever since, as far as she knew. He came back to visit his favourite sisters often when he was free, to which the two girls were always looking forward to._

_Ziva David had been training for a long time, but not yet in any unit or team. But one day, a partner was introduced to her. Not an official one though. He was a guy that her father had assigned to mentor her. Uziel Lazar. He was in his teenage years too, eighteen to be exact. He was quite a good-looking young man. His jaw line was angular, his shoulders well-built and his eyes a nice shade of surprising dark blue. They got along well pretty quickly, forming a firm partnership and friendship._

_**End Of Flashback**_

"I got my first partner back then. His name was Uziel Lazar. He was very handsome. A charming eighteen year old." She continued.

"Was he the one who..." Tony asked, upon the mention of her inaugural partner.

"No, god no. You did not even let me finish!" She exclaimed.

"My bad, my bad."

"He was more of a mentor at first. I did not trust him since he was assigned to me by my father. But over time, I found him to be one of the people who were the closest to me."

_**Flashback**_

_"You did good Ziva." Uziel smiled, hand slung over her shoulders._

_"Thanks." She replied, proud of the praise._

_The two had been tagged together for a few months. Uziel always looked out for his young partner, and had grown to be quite protective of her._

_As they walked past a few of the cheeky men in the force, a flurry of whistles came about. "Looking hot Ziva!" One of them called out._

_Ziva didn't like them. They were honestly sick in the mind. Although she was indeed a beautiful girl, she was fourteen for crying out loud. Ever since she joined the force, they made inappropriate remarks at her and it made her quite uncomfortable. But Uziel was always there to defend her. He would always be on the alert, trying his best to protect her without getting into any trouble._

_This time though, one of the men overstepped the boundaries. Of course nobody knew who Ziva was. If they did, they wouldn't even dare go near her. Her father, Deputy Director David felt that it would be good for her that no one knew of their direct relationship. Only very few people knew about it. Uziel was one. He was also coincidentally quite well-aquainted with Ari._

_The daring man walked up to Ziva and before she could move away, trailed his calloused finger down her face. Uziel was furious. The guts of this man irked him. He felt the rage surge through his veins as he shoved the man away roughly, giving him a strong and good-aimed punch._

_"Do not touch her!" Uziel shouted, gathering the attention of spectating men and women._

_The man had a thin streak of blood at the side of his mouth, caused by a split lip. He didn't believe the audacity of the teenage boy. He came back at Uziel with full force, to be held back by the group of men he had been hanging with before. He was a strong man, at least more developed and experienced than Uziel._

_"Let go! Let go! Okay I am calm. Release me." The man eased himself and said to his comrades._

_He pulled himself out from their grasps, and walked slowly towards Ziva. Instantly Uziel was by her side, scowling at him. "I am Adir Brahm, remember my name. You will regret what you did." He threatened quietly, either to Ziva or Uziel._

_With that, he walked away. "I could have taken care of myself." Ziva complained._

_"I did not like what he did." Uziel said, staring holes into the back of Adir's head._

_"Come on. Stop staring. Let us just go." Ziva persuaded as she pulled her partner's arm._

_**End Of Flashback**_

"Uziel was a protective partner. There was this man called Adir Brahm. He was a few years older than Uziel, I think. He was very cheeky and I didn't like him. Uziel hated him." Ziva narrated.

"Why? Was it some strength contest?" McGee raised a question.

"No. Adir touched me, on the face to be exact. Uziel was angry and punched him. After which Adir threatened us. He said we would regret it."

"Is Adir the one who-" Tony asked, to be interrupted quickly by Ziva.

"Yes. That was what he meant by regretting what we did. He was a very strong man." Ziva didn't want to think about the details even though she was over the incident, but found it necessary to admit that she wasn't able to defend herself that well then.

"Oh."

McGee was silent.

"That is why I said what I said. If a woman in the military cries rape, no man would ever totally trust her again. Because that was what Adir told me."

Tony was angry beyond description. What sick bastard would do such a thing! Ziva really did have it hard when she was young. He wished he could be the one to wring the neck of Adir and torture him till he wished he was dead. "Did Uziel know?" He asked.

"He found out. I did not say anything at first because I believed what Adir said. But Adir was too proud. He taunted Uziel just a day later, which made Uziel suspect what had happened."

"Then what?"

"He came to ask me."

_**Flashback**_

_"Ziva!" Uziel stormed into her sight._

_"Yes?" Ziva answered as nonchalantly as possible._

_Of course she was affected by what had happened. But wasn't it her father who forbade weakness?_

_"Did something happen with Adir?" Uziel's eyes were burning._

_"No." Ziva couldn't meet his eyes because if she did, he could see the emotions in her eyes._

_He grabbed her hand and pulled up her sleeve, revealing a darkening bruise around her wrist. Ziva yanked her hand back._

_"I knew it. I knew it! He touched you! He bragged about it in my ear, that arrogant piece of trash! I did not believe him at first. I had to see it for myself." He forced his words through his clenched jaw._

_"Touching was the least he did." Ziva added on, looking down._

_Uziel was her partner, her friend, her surrogate brother. He deserved to know. Upon the revelation, Uziel eyes widened in shock and anger. "He...did he- he did not." He stammered with fury._

_"Yeah."_

_"Dammit did he use any protection?"_

_"Thankfully yes."_

_"He is going to get it. I am going to kill him right now." Uziel said in a low menacing voice._

_"Do not bother. I do not want you to get into trouble. He is stronger than you anyway."_

_"We have to tell your father."_

_"No! That is worse. He will think I am weak."_

_Ziva was right. Eli David saw the woman body as a useful weapon if used effectively. And all young Ziva ever wanted was to be accepted or praised by her father. Telling him what had happened would throw all of that down the drain._

_Uziel realised that his young partner was right. He felt sorry for her. Being Eli David's daughter was maybe more of a curse. "Please do not say anything." Ziva asked Uziel with pleading eyes._

_"Okay. Okay I will not. Adir will get what he deserves. But you are not leaving my sight anymore."_

_"What if I need to pee?"_

_"Simple. We pee together." Uziel said it like it was obvious._

_Ziva punched her partner in the arm, and he hugged her in return. Uziel was probably the only other person that made her feel safe, other than Ari._

_Uziel tousled her messy hair. "Come on I need to pee now. You are coming with me." He dragged her along._

_"I thought you were joking!" Ziva stumbled along behind him._

_Uziel laughed openly, keeping up his jovial responses to cheer Ziva up. But inside, there was a storm brewing._

_**End Of Flashback**_

"I told him the truth in the end. He was going to confront Adir, but I stopped him. I did not want him to get into trouble." Ziva went on.

"Where is Adir now? Because I would gladly chop him up into pieces for you." Tony asked, his heart smouldering with resentment.

"Count me in." McGee piped up.

Ziva chuckled. "Thanks guys. But I would not worry about that. I think he has already been taken care of."

"What?" Tony said.

"Why?" McGee echoed at the same time.

"He just dropped off the face of the Earth."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Leave me a review (: Thanks!<strong>


	12. 7x23 Patriot Down Part 2

_"Where is Adir now? Because I would gladly chop him up into pieces for you." Tony asked, his heart smouldering with resentment._

_"Count me in." McGee piped up._

_Ziva chuckled. "Thanks guys. But I would not worry about that. I think he has already been taken care of._

_"What?" Tony said._

_"Why?" McGee echoed at the same time._

_"He just dropped off the face of the Earth."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

_"Who is there?" Ziva called out into the sunset when she heard the ruffling of leaves behind her._

_"Who else would know where you like to hide?" A deep male voice replied._

_"Ari?" Ziva was hopeful._

_"That is my name." He said playfully as he perched himself on a sturdy branch opposite Ziva._

_Ari didn't allow anybody to call him by his first name. To most, he was Haswari. Only to a select few was he affectionately known as Ari. Ziva, Tali and Uziel were included. He never ever revealed his soft side to anybody except to the people he loved and trusted. And Ziva liked this brotherly side of him the best._

_"You are back!" Ziva smiled so widely, as she missed her half-brother so much._

_It didn't matter to them that they didn't share the same mother. They treated each other like they were real brother and sister. "Yes I am. I knew I would find you up here." He gestured to the tree they were on._

_"It is our tree." Ziva said as she tested the sturdiness of her brother's branch with her shoe, and settled herself beside him._

_"It is. It has been a long time since I have been here." He hugged her to his side. _

_They used to climb up this tree to get some peace when they were young. It had been Ziva's secret place ever since. Whenever she disappeared somewhere, nobody would think about looking in the trees. Ziva snuggled into her brother's dependable being, breathing in his brotherly scent she missed so much ever since their father asked him to study abroad._

_"How is Uziel?"_

_"He is good. He is like my second brother when you are not here."_

_"I knew I saw good in him for a reason."_

_"So my dear Ziva, what are you doing up here?" He continued, looking down at her slightly troubled face._

_"Thinking."_

_"What about?"_

_"Things."_

_"Does it have anything to do with what Uziel wanted so much to tell me?"_

_"Don't tell Papa about Adir." She replied almost too quickly._

_"What? What about Adir?"_

_"Shit. Did Uziel tell you anything?"_

_"No he did not say anything. He said that he promised you not to say anything. But he was trying very hard to keep it to himself."_

_"Me and my big mouth." Ziva groaned._

_"What did Adir do? We are talking about the same Adir? Adir Brahm?"_

_Ziva sighed. Why did she jump the gun? Now she didn't really have much of a choice but to tell Ari about what happened just a few days ago._

_She whispered the series of events into Ari's ears. His hand on her arm tightened as he heard more. As she came to an end, she buried her face in her hands in shame._

_"I tried. But he was very strong."_

_"Do not be ashamed Ziva. Adir is indeed very strong. You have nothing to be ashamed of." He comforted her by rubbing her back._

_Ari felt like a volcano of emotions had erupted inside of him. Hate. Resentment. Fury. Sadness. There were many more things he was feeling at the moment, but he pushed it down as he held his sister._

_"I will take care of it. I know for a fact Eli would not do anything even if he knew." Ari said calmly, letting his distaste for their father show._

_"What are you going to do?"_

_"You do not need to worry. I can take care of myself, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Head on home then, Ziva."_

_"What about you?"_

_"I have things to take care of."_

_"Will I see you in the morning?"_

_"You can find me up here before sunrise."_

_"Promise?"_

_"I promise." He smiled encouragingly, as he looked into her brown orbs._

_Ziva looked at her brother in contemplation for a while, before engulfing him with a tight hug. "I am glad you are back."_

_"Me too, Ziva." He wrapped his strong arms around his sister's tone but still petite figure._

_"I love you Ari." She said into her brother's shirt._

_"I love you too, little one." He said truthfully, resting his cheek on her head._

_He felt sorry for his baby sister, as his distaste for Eli grew stronger. Building him to be a killer was bad enough, but why Ziva? The poor girl had already been through a lot in her fourteen years. He didn't want this kind of life for Ziva. But there wasn't anything he could do. What he could do, was to try and be her big brother. To be there if she needed him. She still held some of the innocence that he used to have, and he hoped she would be able to keep it for as long as possible, despite the low chances. In his heart he knew, by the time Eli David was done with Ziva, she wouldn't be the girl hugging him and telling him 'I love you' anymore._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning, Ziva climbed up her secret tree to find Ari and Uziel hanging out on the branches, legs dangling beneath them.<em>

_"You told him about the tree?" Ziva looked at Ari._

_"So this is where you always vanish to! By the way, I am sitting right here Ziva. I can actually hear you." Uziel exclaimed._

_"Were you not the one who told me Uziel was like your second brother when I am not around?" Ari smirked._

_"Aw Ziva. I am touched." Uziel touched his chest jokingly._

_Ziva glared at her partner. "Come here." Uziel patted the space beside him on the thick branch._

_Ziva huffed as she sat down beside him. She didn't mind Uziel up here actually. He was pretty close to her, and he should be let in on her secret place._

_"Look. If you do not want me up here, I understand. It is between you and Ari. But I am very honoured to know this about you." Uziel offered._

_Uziel and his glib tongue always got her. He was like Ari. "I guess this tree is ours now." Ziva cracked a smile, gesturing to all three of them._

_Uziel grinned widely in return and gave her a one-armed hug. He did love being like a brother to Ziva._

_"So where did you go yesterday, Ari?" Ziva asked._

_"I did some stuff."_

_"Is it the same stuff you were doing Uziel? Because I could not find you both yesterday." Ziva directed the question to her partner._

_Uziel threw a look at Ari. _

_Ari crossed over to the branch where his sister and friend sat. He gently sat down beside Ziva, leaving her in the middle of her two protective guys. "I told you I would take care of it." Ari said._

_"And I told you that he would get what he deserved." Uziel revealed._

_They each put an arm across Ziva's shoulder, as she smiled in appreciation. The three sat there peacefully, watching the sun rise above the horizon._

_"Hey guys?" Ziva asked._

_"Yes?" Both brotherly figures answered. _

_"Someone better get off this branch before it breaks." She said seriously._

_The other two burst into rare laughter. "Come on Ziva. I have not gone to relief myself since yesterday. Let us go together." Ari joked._

_"Uziel! You told him about our peeing arrangement? Which was not true by the way, Ari. I did not go pee with him." Ziva got her words out through bouts of laughter._

_Uziel escaped her swatting hand and smiled back sheepishly. _

_And that was just one fading good memory Ziva had of Ari._

_**End Of Flashback**_

Ziva smiled softly at the beautiful memory. Tony and McGee were looking at her weirdly.

"You were saying?" McGee snapped her out of her reverie.

"Oh yes. My umm...brother came back from Edinburgh." Ziva said, as Tony's face tensed.

"I let slip the incident. And I think he and Uziel took really good care of Adir. Because I could not find either of them one evening. The next day, it was announced that Adir vanished off Mossad radar." She continued.

"I was grateful. I loved both of them very much back then. Uziel was the best partner I ever had in Mossad." Ziva revealed, at which Tony's shoulders straightened.

"And contrary to popular belief, Ari was a good man. He was the best brother." Ziva said sadly.

She missed her brother Ari. Not terrorist Ari.

Tony felt sad for his partner too. She had to shoot the brother she loved. His impression of the Ari that killed Kate was improved by that very little bit. The fact that he murdered Kate was still standing though.

"So, where is Uziel now?" Tony tried to change the subject and lift the atmosphere.

He didn't want to think or talk about Ari anymore. It would just make them upset. Instead, he diverted his attention to what Ziva had implied earlier. She said he was the best partner she had. He couldn't deny the hurt and jealousy that rose within him.

"Here." She replied.

"What do you mean 'here'? Did you finally make him your boyfriend? Because I distinctly remember hearing you say you loved him." Tony laughed uncharacteristically.

"No. Wow where did you get that idea? He is like a big brother." Ziva's brows furrowed.

"Then why would he be here in America?"

"He is here for only a few days. He came to visit." Ziva laughed slightly.

McGee stifled a laugh at Tony's behaviour.

"By the way Tony, you do not have to be jealous." Ziva informed.

"What, me? Jealous? No way."

"I saw your reaction when I said Uziel was the best partner I had in Mossad. Well, he was indeed. But you are the best partner I have here." Ziva grinned.

Tony was warmed by her words, and he grinned in return.

"Uhh hi there." McGee greeted.

"Hi." A handsome man with dark blue eyes appeared from the elevator.

He crossed his arms and walked over to Ziva's desk. "How long did you want me to wait?" His accented voice asked.

"You are too impatient Uziel." Ziva beamed and threw herself into his now outstretched hands.

She wrapped her hands tightly around his torso, as he stroked her head. "Hey too tight. Too tight." He guffawed.

"Tony, McGee, this is-" Ziva introduced, speaking into Uziel's jacket until McGee cut her off.

"Uziel."

"Pleasure." Uziel nodded at McGee and Tony.

"Nice to meet you too. Anthony DiNozzo." Tony extended his hand, walking towards Uziel.

Uziel tried to extract his arm from Ziva's vice grip. "Ziva I need my hand." He laughed, patting her head.

Tony and McGee looked on with soft eyes. Ziva didn't seem much like a touchy-feely person, and so when they saw her acting like that, they figured that the two must have gone way back. They had to be extremely close.

Ziva released her ex-partner as he took Tony's hand. "So that geek over there is obviously McGee." Tony gestured to McGee.

"Ah yes. You are a funny man." Uziel chuckled.

"That's what they all say." Tony joked, flicking his wrists.

"Come on Ziva. I am hungry." Uziel complained.

"Okay hang on. I need to hit the restroom."

That successfully sparked a memory in Uziel's head. "Hey I think you are forgetting something."

"What? No I am not."

Uziel gestured to his whole being, eyebrows raised in amusement. Recognition flickered across Ziva's face as she suddenly burst out in hearty laughter. "No. We are not peeing together."

"Aw come on." Uziel followed her anyway.

Tony and McGee looked at each other inquisitively, clearly intrigued with their conversation.

"Okay never mind let us just go eat." Ziva changed her direction.

"Spoilsport."

"Bye guys." Ziva waved at her fellow agents.

"See you sometime." Uziel bade as he put his hands on Ziva's shoulders, pushing her towards the elevator.

"It's nice to see that someone out there other than us can make Ziva laugh." McGee told Tony.

"Yeah. I think I like that Uziel guy. Sure, I don't like it when there's someone more awesome than yours truly, but yeah. I think it's the start of a beautiful friendship between me and him."

"You probably won't see him again Tony." McGee deadpanned.

"Let a guy dream, can you?"

It was frankly nice to see the more affectionate and childish side of Ziva. And apparently Uziel was one that could bring it out.

On another note, maybe what Kate told Gibbs wasn't totally untrue. She said she saw kindness in Ari's eyes. Maybe she was right.

* * *

><p><strong>Aww I like this character. Haha tell me what you think (:<strong>


	13. 8x09 Enemies Domestic

"You should see your dad." Abby said suddenly.

Ziva's brows furrowed in confusion. "How would that help the case?"

"It wouldn't. Have you even spoken to him?"

"No."

"Okay."

"What does it matter to you?"

Abby launched into a rambled explanation that did make sense. Ziva made a mental note to herself. She had to come back and talk to Abby.

* * *

><p>"There have been times I felt this job take a piece of me. Where I worried it might be gone forever." Eli David supposedly said how he felt.<p>

"Sometimes life surprises you." His daughter replied.

"Those are the moments worth living for, my Ziva." He kissed her forehead, after which she watched him leave.

* * *

><p>Director David had left the building, and Ziva had been staring at the close elevator doors beyond which she saw her father disappear into.<p>

She couldn't shake off this feeling about her father. There was a large part of her that was so happy that their relationship had maybe changed for the better. He had even kissed her on the forehead. But was it real?

Or was it all an act? She didn't know if she could even trust her own father anymore. She certainly didn't forget that he left her for the dead in the desert. And it certainly didn't help that he had sent Malachi to push the murder of Daniel Cryer onto her shoulders.

And here he was, showing actual concern for her well-being. She couldn't help but feel that there was always an underlying ulterior motive behind each and every one of his actions. He had proved it to be true time and time again hadn't he? Such were the so many sides to one Eli David.

As she continued staring ahead, a flurry of brown came into her line of sight.

"What are you looking at?" Ah, Tony.

"At nothing." She ignored his presence as she punched at her keyboard, trying to type her report.

She was angry at herself. She didn't understand why her subconscious refused to let her believe that her father's concern for her was real. Why couldn't she just believe that her father had a heart? Why couldn't they have a normal relationship?

"Woah woah, hold on there. What did the keyboard do to you?" Tony asked with the usual charming smile.

Ziva just continued ignoring him. If she ignored him long enough, perhaps he'd take the hint and go away.

"Think of the poor keys on that keyboard." He gave a fake pout.

She didn't even spare him a look.

"You should just take a bat and hit the keyboard you know. More damage. Gibbs would do that. Smart man."

Nothing.

"Stab it with your knife then. That's original. Like you got your whole own style."

Still nothing.

"Use a gun?"

She was absolutely ignoring him.

Tony sighed. "Is this about your father?"

Ah, that got her attention. She stopped abusing the keyboard.

"For the record, no offence though, I still don't like him." Tony proclaimed.

"It is totally fine with me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He did almost strangle you once, I think."

"Oh yeah. Almost forgot that. No, not really. I remember."

"How could you not?"

"Yeah. I don't trust him."

"I cannot bring myself to trust him either." Ziva admitted as she cupped her chin with her hands, elbows bracing on her desk.

"Why?"

"I...don't know."

"I think you do know. But you know that's okay right?"

"What is okay?"

"That you don't trust your dad. Because it looks to me like he has given you many reasons to doubt him. Further than what I already know."

"You have no idea." Well, she really did have a tough childhood.

"I think it's okay to not trust our dads, you and me. Sometimes they aren't exactly father material."

"Sometimes?" She scoffed.

"Okay maybe more for your father. Hey, even I have to admit that I don't really trust my dad. Who knows, he might try to steal my girlfriend if I had one."

"Wait. You know what? He did try that once." He added as he frowned.

Ziva smiled at Tony in appreciation. He was doing the best he could to make her feel better about herself. "Thanks Tony."

"For what? For being me? Oh anytime." He winked at her.

She simply rolled her eyes at his self-flattering.

"See you tomorrow." Tony bid, giving himself a mental pat on the back for making his partner a bit more happier.

"Yeah bye."

Ziva still had her chin cupped, as she just stared forward. Just thinking. It was a good time to think, since it was quiet in the bullpen.

"What'cha thinking about?"

"Gibbs."

He responded to his name by sitting himself on the edge of Ziva's desk.

"Your father gave you this?" He asked as he toyed with the small Flag of Israel in her stationery holder.

"Yes."

He stopped playing around and looked at her. He knew she must have been affected by the whole tirade of her father for the past couple of days.

"What's wrong Ziva?"

"I do not know. I just...I do not dare to trust my father."

"What makes you say that?"

"He actually cared for my safety when I was trying to protect him. And he kissed me on the forehead just now. He has not done that in a very long time."

"So it makes you suspicious?"

"A little. His sudden display of human emotions made me wonder if he did it with an intention."

"What intention could he possibly have?"

"I am not sure. But I would not put it past my father to fake concern for a bigger cause. Better cause than me. There is always a better cause than me."

"I'm not going to speak up for him."

"What do you have against him?"

"I don't."

"I thought you would have been able to relate to him as a father."

"He's not a father. Not to me. He left you in the desert to die, Ziva. Even if I had to recognize him as one, he would be one heck of a sorry excuse."

"And might I add, he brushed it off simply by stating that and I quote, 'You are not dead'. Just like that." Ziva now felt justified for feeling the way that she did.

"I still stand by my opinion that your father isn't a good man Ziver."

"I know that. I do not understand why, but I cannot just stop caring for him altogether. He is my father." She sighed a heavy sigh.

"And you won't ever stop caring."

"How do you know? Maybe he might do something so bad that I cannot bring myself to care anymore."

"It's because you're a good daughter." Gibbs smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead like her father did.

Only this time, Ziva could be sure that there were no hidden intentions behind the affectionate gesture. And to be honest, it was Gibbs that first came to mind when Eli gave her a kiss on the forehead. Looks like Ziva really did treat Gibbs as the closest thing she had to a father.

"Thanks Gibbs." She said as she hugged him, arms around his torso and her cheek pushed against his stomach.

Gibbs stroked her hair, secretly smiling at himself. He really did like being the main father figure in Ziva's life.

Ziva pulled back, saying "Do not tell anyone I just did that."

Gibbs shook his head and replied "Only if you don't tell anyone I did that too."

Both of them cracked up, as they weren't much ones for hugs. Only on some occasions.

"Hey Gibbs." Ziva called before he left.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have time?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Let us go see Abby." She announced as she headed for the elevator, Gibbs following along beside her.

"Why?"

"She sounded sad when she was telling me to talk to my father."

"I see. You need me to cheer her up just in case."

"They made you leader of your own team for a reason." She smiled.

* * *

><p>"Abby!" Ziva shouted over the loud music.<p>

Abby was ignorantly still dancing around on the spot, back facing towards Gibbs and Ziva.

"Abs! Music!" Gibbs boomed.

"Oh! You scared me Gibbs!" Abby heard him and turned off her music.

"What brings the both of you down here?" She continued.

Ziva went forward and pulled Abby into a hug. Abby was surprised. Very surprised. Ziva let go and beamed at Abby.

"I usually hug people, not the other way around." Abby sounded confused.

"But what the hell." She laughed as she gave returned Ziva's hug with a tight hug of her own this time round.

"Thanks for the advice on my father. And for why I am here...You sounded sad." Ziva said.

"Wow, I must have sounded really down if you decided to come hug me." She mused cheerfully.

"And of course, I brought Gibbs." Ziva stood to the side and gestured to the man standing slightly behind her.

"C'mere Abs." He beckoned as she ran into his arms, giving him her usual bone-crushing hug.

"You know you'll always be my girl." He said softly beside her ear, loud enough that even Ziva could hear it.

He looked over Abby's shoulder to meet Ziva's eyes, mouthing 'You too'. Ziva nodded and smiled back, touched that Gibbs admitted that he saw her as a daughter too.

"I know Gibbs. I know you'll love me like a daughter forever and ever." Abby said adorably, causing Ziva to chuckle.

"Don't worry Ziva. Gibbs has room in his heart for you too!" Abby included Ziva gleefully.

"I know Abby." Ziva giggled at Abby's cute nature.

Ziva knew that come what may in the future, even if Eli wasn't there, Gibbs would always be. Because he would always be more of a father to her, than her real father will ever be.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Woo! I posted this for good luck. Kind of. Because I'm gonna get my posting results back today! It basically means which education institution I'm getting posted to next! Wish me luck!<strong>**

**Much more shorter than what I do usually...but yeah. The episode tag after this one will back to the longer kind! Leave me a review peeps! Sorry if this one doesn't manage to elaborate enough. I need more inspiration :( And I shall look under my blanket to find it! :)**


	14. 8x13 Freedom Part 1

"Agent David has been through things that you and I can't even imagine. And, she knows what it is like to be controlled." Ducky explained.

"I'm not sure I wanna open up those wounds, Duck." Gibbs said seriously, not knowing exactly though what wounds she had.

She didn't tell them.

* * *

><p>"I know what it is like to be under the control of a man. To feel like you have no power. And the only way to get that power back is to shut down. You tell yourself, you must shut down. You tell yourself, to never show any emotion, to anybody. I know what that is like. It is the only way you can survive. I also know what it is like, to...want to seek revenge." Ziva related with Gunnery Sergeant Wooten.<p>

Somalia? Somalia.

* * *

><p>"Ducky?" Ziva called out into the autopsy room.<p>

"Ah, my dear. What brings you here? Where are Anthony and McGee?" Ducky inquired, sitting in his own seat next to an empty autopsy table.

Autopsy had nearly been engulfed in total darkness, the kind that seemed never ending where the walls never appeared to close in. The only source of light that had permitted any vision was the one above the autopsy table where Ducky was standing by. The rest of autopsy was very dimly lit. At the far end, Ziva could make out a dark figure lying on the furthest autopsy table. She assumed it was Ducky's latest body.

"They went to the arcade with Nick, the boy who has been using McGee's credit cards. He called me a smoking hot chick." Ziva air-quoted with her fingers.

But that wasn't what she was here for. She had developed a mixture of feelings that surmised from handling the Wooten case, and she needed someone to talk to. Lucky for her, Ducky fit the bill perfectly. That was why she was here.

"Can I ask you a question Ducky?" She asked, waiting for an answer.

Her voice reverberated in her own ears as the cold air from the air-conditioners blew down the back of her neck, causing an involuntary shiver. She advanced towards Ducky who shifted his seat slightly backward, giving her some space. She perched herself on the autopsy table, sitting right in front of Ducky as her legs dangled off the edge.

"Ask away my dear." Ducky answered kindly, leaning forward.

"Were you the one who told Gibbs to send me to question Gunnery Sergeant Wooten?"

"Yes I did. Do you blame me?" Ducky said hesitantly, slight guilt creeping up his back.

"No! No. Of course not." Ziva answered quickly because that wasn't the case at all.

"How did you know it was me though?"

"Well I know Gibbs well enough. He treads around the Somalia incident lightly like he is stepping around glass. He would not have made it an option to himself to send me to question Wooten. He cares too much."

"Which is a good thing." She added quickly.

"And so it led me to you, because I think Gibbs trusts your psychological judgment. I do not think you would have given him that suggestion if you did not believe I was ready." She continued, glancing at Ducky from time to time.

"I had faith that you'd be ready." Ducky patted her knee encouragingly.

"I guess I was." Ziva smiled softly in return.

"Come to think of it, they all make it a conscious point not to talk about it. They may not know it, but I am aware of the effort they are making. I know." She broke eye contact with Ducky.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not really. I appreciate it. Very much actually. But I still do not like to talk about it."

"It's normal my dear. Nobody likes to talk about their bad experiences."

Silence filled autopsy momentarily.

"Did you tell Gibbs anything else?" Ziva looked at Ducky again with insecure eyes.

Of course Ducky knew what she was referring to. "I would never. I promised you I wouldn't, did I not?"

"Yes you did. Doctor-patient confidentiality. I remember." Ziva laughed.

_**Flashback**_

_Abby touched Ziva's face gently, making sure that she was here in the flesh and not just a figment of everone's imagination. Relief overwhelmed the forensic whiz as she embraced her friend, thankful for her safe return. She was alive._

_Ziva's face was devoid of any expression. It all seemed so surreal. To be back with the team. To be surrounded once again with familiar faces. It was hard to feel anything. She had shut down._

_Ziva felt Abby's hands press their two bodies closer, and her own hands grew minds of their own as they lightly returned the hug. Physically she was there. But her mind, not so much. There were hands clapping as much as eyes were watching. She didn't pay attention though. Everything was just a blur._

_After some time, the crowd had dissipated while Abby still clung onto her. Gibbs and Tony were staring at the two from their desks, but mostly at Ziva. She had been staring into nothing all that while. And they were worried. She had indeed shut down._

_"Abigail, I need Ziva to come with me." Ducky spoke first, breaking the silence._

_"I'm so glad you're back." Abby said and released her hold on Ziva, stepping back._

_Ziva couldn't count on speaking right now, and instead mustered a very small smile which Abby would have missed if she wasn't standing as close as she was._

_"Come on my dear. To autopsy." Ducky gently instructed._

_Ziva obediently followed, head hanging. The rest of the team stayed put. It was better if she was alone with Ducky._

_Ziva felt tired. She didn't want to speak, she didn't want to think, she didn't want to feel. It was all too tough. She hadn't spoken to anyone since she left the compounds of that terrorist camp. She kept her distance on the plane ride back, shaking or nodding her head as her only means of communication._

_Her stand hadn't changed. She was ready to die back in Somalia, and so was she, even back here in NCIS. She hadn't been able to shake off the want of being dead. It was simply overwhelming. She didn't know what Ducky even wanted with her, but she didn't care anymore._

_Ziva was absorbed in her thoughts till she heard the doors to autopsy open. She raise her head slightly, proceeding to follow Ducky in, but she couldn't take a step any further._

_Ducky heard the footsteps behind him cease. "Come my dear." He beckoned with his hand._

_Ziva shook her head in refusal._

_"Why, what's wrong?" Ducky asked in concern as he walked back out of autopsy._

_"The lights." She said with a quiet voice, visibly embarrassed._

_Realisation dawned upon Ducky. It seemed that Ziva had grown to fear the dark. He never felt so sorry for anybody before. She didn't deserve this. In a course of just 4 months, their hardcore Mossad sweetheart had been tortured into being afraid and emotionally detached._

_He switched on all the lights possible in autopsy, and Ziva walked in automatically after deeming the place bright enough. She dragged her feet along as the autopsy doors closed behind her._

_Ducky watches as she locked the autopsy doors and dropped herself to the floor right there. She sat leaning against the cool material of the doors, legs outstretched in front of her._

_"My dear, what's wrong?" Ducky went to her side as quick as he could be for his age._

_Ziva's brows were knitted together, as her teeth grinded against one another._

_"Are you hurting somewhere?" He asked as he hands moved to check whatever skin he could lay his eyes upon._

_"Do not touch me." She warned as her arms pushed herself further away from Ducky._

_"I just want to check on your injuries."_

_She kept mum. She would have expected the rest to tell Ducky that she dislocated the shoulder of the doctor who tried to come within an inch of her._

_"I don't think you'll hurt me." He continued._

_Ah, they really did tell him._

_"I will. I cannot control my actions." She spoke through a clenched jaw._

_"Yes you can. I'm going to hold your hand now and my shoulder is going to be perfectly in place."_

_Ziva looked down at her hands in her lap as Ducky's grandfatherly hands covered one of hers. Even the slightest of contact caused her to tense up and flinch as she fought the engulfing urge to pull away._

_"It's okay Ziva. You're doing well." Ducky encouraged as he saw the guilt flicker across her countenance._

_He knew she felt bad for flinching at the contact of a familiar face._

_Ducky sat down beside her against the doors, giving a sigh as all his weight fell onto the floor. "Will you let me check on you now? You haven't been checked."_

_She didn't reply. She had no intention of moving from her spot on the floor. Ducky was assessing her psychologically right there. The synopsis was clear. She shut down. And she wasn't trying to 'un-shut' herself at all._

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Leave me a review peeps! Thanks! (:<strong>


	15. 8x13 Freedom Part 2

_Ducky sat down beside her against the doors, giving a sigh as all his weight fell onto the floor. "Will you let me check on you now? You haven't been checked."_

_She didn't reply. She had no intention of moving from her spot on the floor. Ducky was assessing her psychologically right there. The synopsis was clear. She shut down. And she wasn't trying to 'un-shut' herself at all._

* * *

><p><em>This was troubling. If she didn't make the effort, no amount of help would make a change. He moved to get up, his shoe accidentally brushing against Ziva's thin footwear. He next heard a sharp intake of breath from the figure beside him.<em>

_"Your feet? Is that why you're sitting here?"_

_She nodded._

_"Can I see?" He asked._

_She nodded yet again. For now, her injuries were only for Ducky's eyes._

_She fought back another urge to kick as Ducky slowly removed one side of her footwear, revealing swollen feet and bruises that had long formed there._

_Ducky was an enraged Medical Examiner now. He knew the cause for such an injury was if a blunt object was used to smash her feet, plus further torture._

_It did come to mind that Tony and McGee had said that they both had to practically drag Ziva to safety, her weight distributed under their hands._

_What could they have possibly used on poor Ziva?_

_"Pipe." She whispered, answering Ducky's unspoken question._

_Ducky shook his head slightly. The horrors of the human race. He took off the footwear on the other foot, at which Ziva pulled her leg back slightly in pain. His eyes scanned the equally injured foot as he wondered how in the world Ziva managed to walk on those feet._

_His attention was pulled away though, when Ziva moved uncomfortably in her spot. His eyes drifted towards her face, but stopped halfway._

_Right in front of his nose and in between his eyes, he stared down the length of a gleaming knife. Where the hell did she get the knife from?_

_"Ziva? What are you doing?" Ducky's wavering voice clearly displaying how nervous he was._

_Ziva was more than capable of hurting him. He knew that. If she saw him as a threat, her instincts would kick in. Eliminate the threat for self-preservation. Thus he did the best that he could to show that he was harmless._

_"It's me, Ziva. It's Ducky." He raised both his hands._

_Ducky's facial muscles tensed as the knife slightly waved in front of him. He took a deep breath and steeled his nerves, looking her straight in the eyes._

_He saw a scared little girl, a lone tear track trailing down the contours of her dirt-covered left cheek. Yet she stared insolently back at him._

_"I would never hurt you." He coaxed, thinking that she saw him as a man who ripped her of any control she had._

_Ziva however was thinking otherwise. "Kill me." She asked firmly under her breath._

_Ducky's face became one of horror. Did she really just say that?_

_"I refuse to kill you Ziva."_

_"Take the knife."_

_"No. You're in NCIS now, and I'm Ducky. You're safe my dear."_

_"I know who you are, Ducky. Just take the knife and kill me. Please."_

_If Ducky thought his face couldn't possibly show more horror, well he was wrong. He was utterly flabbergasted. It was like a bombshell had been dropped when he realised that she wasn't having flashbacks or anything along that line. She was in fact aware of herself and her surroundings._

_He didn't fear the knife before him anymore. He knew now that it was never her intention at all to hurt him. She had indeed, in her own capacity, just asked him to kill her._

_"Why?"_

_"I do not see any other way out." She resigned to her fate, as she dropped the hand holding the knife._

_"There is always a way out. You just need time." He explained tenderly._

_Ziva finally felt the full blow of her time being tortured as a range of emotions attacked her. More tears cascaded down her gaunt face._

_Ducky took his chance to rid her of the knife, carefully extracting its handle from Ziva's grasp. He slid the knife across the floor, totally out of their reach._

_He looked at the torn agent in front of him and moved forward to give her the thing he felt she needed the most. It was probably the only thing that he could offer. He gave her a hug._

_The worn hands of many years of experience encircled the wan figure of the one they called Ziva. Ducky stroked her back in circles as she wept into the shoulder of his lab coat, silent sobs harshly wrecking her whole body. Her hands clenched fistfuls of her pants, full of sorrow and anger._

_"My dear girl, you will get through all of this. I know you will." He assured her._

_It seemed like a long time until Ducky ceased to feel any jerky movements from the agent in his arms. He turned his head slightly to check on her._

_She had indeed stopped crying, and was simply just staying in Ducky's grandfatherly embrace._

_"Ducky?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"If I let you check my injuries, will you keep it to yourself?"_

_"I'll try my utmost best Ziva. If a report is needed, I do have to hand in a full one."_

_"Okay. Then can you not tell anyone about what I asked you to do just now?"_

_"That I can assure you, my lips are sealed tight. Doctor-patient confidentiality."_

_"Thanks Ducky." She pulled back and looked at him earnestly._

_"Anytime my dear. Come on, let's get you checked."_

_**End Of Flashback**_

"You know, up to this day, I still have one big question in my mind." Ducky announced.

"What is it?"

"Where could you have possibly gotten the knife?"

"Oh, I just took it from McGee. More of stole actually. But I returned it. So it was not exactly stealing."

"Did he know it was gone?"

"I don't think so. Even if he did, he did not think it was me. He probably thought he dropped it somewhere in that camp." She laughed at being able to pull all that off.

"So, have you ever told anybody about what happened?" Ducky asked in reverse.

"Nope."

"Not even Jethro?"

"He is the last person I would tell."

"Why?"

"He would be ashamed to know that I asked you to kill me."

"I doubt that."

"He would. He would be so disappointed in me."

"Well, all that matters is that you've come quite a long way since then."

"I guess I have."

"You are a strong girl Ziva. Never doubt that." Ducky emphasised by putting his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"Thanks Ducky." Ziva leaned forward, giving Ducky a tight hug in return.

Ducky had always been supportive of her. He was a good listener, and she found it easy to talk to him. He had always been a great help and she valued their friendship very much, more than she'd ever admit.

Ziva released her hold of Ducky and hopped off the autopsy table. "Bye Ducky. See you tomorrow."

She bid him goodbye with a peck on the cheek and made her exit from autopsy. As the autopsy doors closed behind her, the dark figure on the furthest autopsy table rose up into a sitting position.

"Jethro! I thought you were asleep." Ducky exclaimed.

He wasn't used to seeing the bodies on his autopsy tables rising from the dead.

"I was." He declared, as he twisted his neck and back, emitting cracking sounds throughout the almost empty autopsy.

"That sounds painful. You should stop sleeping on my autopsy tables."

"It's peaceful down here Duck." Gibbs stiffly made his way off the autopsy table and walked to Ducky's side.

"How long have you been awake?" Ducky's eyebrows shot up in question.

"Long enough." Gibbs sighed.

"You heard everything, if I'm not wrong."

"Honestly, I'm still reeling in the shock that she wanted you to kill her."

"Never knew she really did feel that way, right Jethro?"

"I do now."

Gibbs scratched his head, frustrated with himself. "I mean, why would she think that way? That I'd be ashamed of her."

"She looks up to you. Very much. I cannot stress how much it is. You're her role model."

Gibbs rubbed his face with his rough hands.

"If you do have a chance though, you should get her to open up about her time in Somalia." Ducky advised.

Gibbs looked at his friend with confusion in his eyes.

"She still needs to talk about it. She is better now, that is pretty much obvious. But I fear she will never truly be over it if she doesn't talk."

"I'll do my best Duck."

Ducky sighed as he patted Gibbs on the arm.

"I know you do Jethro. I know you always do."

It was very true. He did. He always did.

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you thought! (:<strong>


	16. 8x14 A Man Walks Into A Bar Part 1

"I want something permanent. Something that can't be taken away. Is that too much to ask?" Ziva asked with a quivering voice, unshed tears visible under the lighting.

* * *

><p>"This is where the guy who murdered Kate died. This is where Ziva shot her own brother. That doc, is closure. The rest is just memories. Nothing wrong with memories." He advised as he stood in his basement with Kate's sister.<p>

* * *

><p>Ziva was coping with the raging emotions within herself. Having a talk with Doctor Rachel Cranston brought out feelings that she didn't want to face. It made her face reality. And it was a darn harsh one.<p>

It was true. Everything that mattered to her in her life had been taken away from her, one by one. Her mother, her sister, her brother, her friends. And the people she trusted had a tendency to betray her. Was she really that bad? Was she that unworthy of anything permanent in her life?

The fact that Doctor Cranston was Kate Todd's sister didn't help things. Its sole purpose, to Ziva, was just to emphasise on the regret that she didn't stop Ari on time. She knew that Kate was a sensitive spot for those who really knew her. Gibbs, Tony, Ducky, Abby and McGee. The rest of the team, except her. She saw their sad faces when they came to know about Doctor Cranston's relationship with Kate, because it caused old memories to resurface.

Ziva was leaning against the sinks in the women's restroom. Actually, she was in hiding. Why? Because she felt out of place. Before she snuck into the restroom, she saw Gibbs, Tony, McGee, Ducky and Abby huddling together in a group. She could hear sad chuckles as they shared their own memories of their dear friend Kate. She didn't belong there.

It was their time to grieve, and she shouldn't be there. It was their group moment. She needed to escape the guilt that held her back here. Because of her brother's actions, her friends lost a person dear to them. She couldn't help but feel responsible.

Sighing heavily, she headed for the exit. But not before giving the solid wall a hard punch. Nope, that did nothing to suppress her guilt. Instead, she got herself sore red knuckles that throbbed away. Well that was dumb.

As she emerged from the restroom, she saw the same group of people still huddled together. Gibbs had a melancholic look in his eyes as he listened to Tony and McGee recount happy memories with Kate. Abby looked dejected, and Ducky had an air of nostalgia around him.

She knew that they'd be too caught up with Kate to notice her. She slipped out of the bullpen, taking the stairs to get out of the place. To hell with her belongings. She could get them back the next day anyways. It wasn't like anyone would want to steal her go-bag.

Now what? She had to get some beer. Next stop? She had somebody to visit.

She got into her car and threw her phone in the backseat unceremoniously.

* * *

><p>"I won't ever forget Kate." Abby said with a sad smile.<p>

"I don't think any one of us will Abigail." Ducky agreed.

"She was a good friend." McGee nodded.

"She was a great partner." Tony looked into the distance.

"She was one hell of an agent." Gibbs said with a stoic face.

Finally a comfortable silence settled between all of them.

"One good thing came out if it though." McGee reminded.

"You're joking right?" Abby gave him the evil eye.

"Just let me finish. If what happened didn't happen, there wouldn't be Ziva."

"If you put it that way, then I agree McGee!" She gave him a smile.

She couldn't help but agree. Ziva had grown to be a very important member in their dysfunctional family which worked out. And as they had established when she was in Somalia, Ziva David was irreplaceable.

"To be honest, I think she would have been dead by now. I don't reckon the life expectancy in Mossad to be very high." Ducky came to a conjuncture.

Everyone grimaced at the hard truth.

"Then I'm glad that Kate's departure made a difference in another person's life." Abby proceeded to say.

"Kate would have been happy to know that." McGee replied.

"Yeah, if things didn't go the way it did, we probably wouldn't get to know that little minx." Tony laughed.

"Aren't you afraid she'll kick your ass if she heard you call her a little minx?" McGee whispered amusedly.

A little Tony whooping would certainly be an eye-opener. In a fun way.

"Ahh she's behind me isn't she?" Tony cringed as he whipped his head around.

No she wasn't there. His finding eyes looked at her desk from where he was sitting on the edge of Gibbs' desk.

All he saw was an empty seat. And as the rest turned their attention to where Tony was looking, it was all that they saw too.

"I thought she was sitting there a few minutes ago." Tony tapped his chin with his finger.

"You mean like two hours ago?" McGee frowned.

"What? We've been talking for that long?" Abby piped up.

"Maybe she left already." McGee reasoned.

"Well her belongings are still there." Ducky noticed.

"Well it's about time we left. I'm gonna give her a call, so we can all leave together." Tony concluded.

He flipped open his phone and hit speed dial. And he waited.

"Huh. That's weird, she isn't picking up."

"I'll try this time." McGee offered.

As he held the phone to his ear, he waited.

"Nope, not answering."

Gibbs took his phone out of his own accord and called his agent. He waited. No answer.

His brows furrowed as he sighed. "Same here."

This was unusual. Didn't he repeat it time and time again? Never be unreachable.

"Maybe she's just catching a nap somewhere. I'll check the restroom." Abby said as she scurried along in her platforms.

"I'll check...the other restroom." Tony said awkwardly.

Well, Ziva did have a tendency to intrude on him in the guy's restroom sometimes.

"I'll check Abby's lab." McGee took some initiative.

"And I'll check autopsy." Ducky turned and left.

Gibbs stood in the middle of the bullpen as he ran through in his head the reasons why Ziva wasn't here, or answering her calls.

Hopefully she might have just fallen asleep somewhere. Or maybe something bad happened. Under his nose in NCIS? No way.

He didn't manage to think any further as Abby and Tony made their way back.

"She's not in the girl's restroom." Abby said first.

"She definitely isn't in the guy's restroom. Not that umm...she'd be there uhh, you know...normally." Tony scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

At this point, McGee and Ducky came back as well.

"Not in Abby's lab." McGee said.

"Not in autopsy either." Ducky's tone was concerned.

Having studied psychology, he probably figured that the arrival of Kate's sister and the fact that she had managed to evaluate Ziva might have upset her. And Ziva was one that couldn't be predicted easily. Who knows what she might have gotten into in her current mental state? Whatever state that was.

"Where can she be? She's usually a stickler for Gibbs' rules. But she's breaking one right now, never be unreachable! Do you think something or someone is stopping her from answering her phone? Oh gosh is it time to panic? Because I'm not waiting for it. I'm panicking now." Abby rambled worriedly.

"Let's not jump to any conclusions yet Abby. I think Ziva can take care of herself." McGee tried to calm Abby down.

"Then why is she missing?" Abby asked.

Ducky put some of his psychological expertise to work and gave his input.

"I personally think that Ziva was forced to face some things she'd rather not face when Doctor Rachel Cranston appeared, her being Kate's sister. And I don't know what they discussed during their talk, but Ziva did seem particularly down when it ended."

"Do you think she's upset because of us? Oh god, we've been horrible friends! Ever since Rachel arrived, all we did was talk about Kate. Non-stop. Like we just did. I didn't realise." Abby rambled yet again.

"I'd hate to admit it but I think it's true." McGee's tone was laced with some guilt.

"I hope she doesn't do anything rash." Ducky mumbled under his breath.

"What the hell are you talking about Ducky? Ziva isn't like that!" Tony exclaimed in shock.

Ducky was taken aback for a split second. He didn't think anybody had heard him, but apparently he wasn't very soft.

"I actually don't know Anthony. Have you not realised she's been more in touch with her emotions ever since she came back from the desert? There are still things that have remained untouched, and unfortunately we still do not know what they are." Ducky explained.

"Ziva is only human. There is always a limit to what we can take. I honestly do not know when Ziva will snap." Ducky continued with a heavy heart.

"You're scaring me Ducky. She doesn't look like that to me." Tony's face was contorted weirdly in slight disbelief.

"Looks can be deceiving." Ducky shook his head slowly.

"We have to do something!" Abby said a tad frantically.

"McGee, run a search on Zi-" Gibbs ordered, only to be interrupted by the shrill ring of his phone.

He gestured for McGee to wait as he answered the phone. "Gibbs."

"Agent Gibbs, I have someone you may be looking for."

* * *

><p>Ziva had stopped by the convenience store and bought herself a six-pack. Her being was dormant with guilt. She felt indirectly responsible for Kate's death, and thus indirectly responsible for the sadness her team was feeling. She knew where she had to head next.<p>

Arriving at her destination, she stepped out of her car with the six-pack in hand. She was twistedly mesmerised by the stretch of green grass in the dark, which was peppered by the numerous headstones of fallen heroes of their time.

She stopped at one of them. Caitlin Todd. She was at the right place. She stood there staring at the name engraved there, as brown leaves flung harmlessly at the cold stone under the light nightly breeze.

Right there, she felt the shame enshrouding her. This wonderful agent had been six foot under for six years, because of her.

She dropped herself into a sitting position on the grass, facing the grave of one Agent Todd. She took out one can of beer and opened it, placing it right in front of the headstone. She then took out another one and opened it up for herself.

"You drink beer?" She asked the stone.

Of course, there was no reply.

"I will take that as a yes." She knocked her own can of beer lightly with the one standing before the head stone.

She took one big gulp, exhaling loudly.

"I do not think I have introduced myself. I am Ziva David, the person who took your place."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Leave me a review and tell me what you think! (: Thanks.<strong>

**By the way have you seen the promo for 9x15? Tony is kissing some person that is not Ziva! Kills me shipper heart :(**


	17. 8x14 A Man Walks Into A Bar Part 2

_"You drink beer?" She asked the stone._

_Of course, there was no reply._

_"I will take that as a yes." She knocked her own can of beer lightly with the one standing before the head stone._

_She took one big gulp, exhaling loudly._

_"I do not think I have introduced myself. I am Ziva David, the person who took your place."_

* * *

><p>She took another big gulp, as some sort of carbonic acid from the beer stung the inside of her mouth.<p>

"I took your place...after my brother shot you in the head and tried to kill Gibbs."

She took several gulps this time. Well will you look at that, first can of beer gone. She opened another one, raising it at the block of stone in respect.

"You do not know how sorry I am. I should have stopped Ari earlier."

She swallowed the bitter liquid fast like she was thirsty.

"You know, they miss you a lot. Thought you should know that."

She poured whatever remained down her throat. And she opened the third can. She held her alcohol well, as she was only a little tipsy despite chugging down the beer so fast.

"They have been talking about you non-stop. You are irreplaceable."

She pointed at the inanimate grey stone as she took a mouthful of beer.

"I am a killer. I killed you. And then I killed my brother."

She was feeling quite bitter, just like the beer as she took another swig at it.

"Are you sure you should be drinking that much? It is still a work day tomorrow." A male voice came about.

Ziva turned her head towards the direction of the voice, from behind the nearest tree.

"Who is there?" She asked, slightly hazy as the effects of alcohol finally kicked in.

"Me." The voice said, as a figure revealed itself from the refuge of the tree trunk.

"Ari." Ziva whispered.

"Indeed it is." He walked closer to Ziva and sat beside her.

"You are supposed to be dead." Ziva gulped down more beer to calm her nerves.

"I am."

"I am finally going crazy." She muttered in a fashion like she had just gotten an epiphany.

"No you are not. You drank too much." He explained as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Are you a ghost?"

"I could be. Or perhaps you are just imagining me."

"Well go away. I hate you."

"No you do not."

"I do. Why did you have to kill Kate? Why did you try to kill Gibbs? If you did not, I would not have needed to kill you."

Her voice rose in consternation as she took another go with the next can of beer, the empty ones lying on their round sides.

"I cannot explain my actions." Imaginary Ari said softly.

Ziva was angry at her brother. If he didn't do what he did, she wouldn't be feeling the shame and the guilt that she felt so much now. And he would still be with her. She took a swing at him with her free hand, but of course she was just hitting the air.

"Why do you try hitting me when you already know I am not real?" Imaginary Ari laughed in good will.

Still the ever stubborn sister he used to know.

"I am not going to talk to you."

"Why not?"

"Because you are just a figment of my imagination." She forced out through gritted teeth, swallowing yet another mouth of already warm beer.

"You were talking to a slab of stone just now. What is the difference?"

"It just is." She huffed.

Slience fell for a while.

"Why are you even here?" Ziva asked sourly.

"You tell me."

Ziva rolled her eyes. How would she know? Being intoxicated didn't really help much either. Imaginary Ari sighed loudly beside her.

"It is not your fault."

"What is?" She flung her hands into the air.

"Kate's death."

"I know. You shot her." She deadpanned.

"Yes. But you blame yourself. I can see it."

"Well maybe if you had opened your eyes earlier, she might still be alive." She remarked sarcastically.

She embarked on her last can of beer. By now, she was nearly drunk. She didn't even realise how fast she was drinking. And to think before all that, she told herself it was going to be an easy feat to control her drinking.

"And about killing me..."

"What about it?" She threw her hands into the air exasperatedly yet again.

"You did the right thing Ziva. No need to be guilty." He coaxed gently.

Ziva could feel the sadness take a step closer to her hard surface. Her eyes clouded over with a film of unshed tears as she heard his words.

"Why are you so nice? You were not like this before. You were like this when we were younger." She asked shakily.

"Because this is how you chose to remember me. Who I was before all the mess." He smiled sadly at her.

And for the first time that night, she looked into the familiar imaginary eyes of her brother. She gave him a quivering smile in return.

"You know I never stopped loving my baby sister right?" Imaginary Ari asked warmly.

Ziva scoffed dejectedly. "You did a good job showing it."

"I might not have showed it after you grew up. But deep down you knew I loved you, did you not?" He said seriously.

Ziva heaved a quivering sigh. "I know."

At that moment, the rustling of leaves could be heard. Although she was still in some alcohol-induced haze, Ziva had some pretty sharp senses.

She turned her blurry vision to where she heard those sounds. She could vaguely make out a woman. She turned to look beside her again, but Ari was gone. Vanished.

Next thing she knew, felt a pair of thin hands under her arms trying to pull her slowly to her feet. "Come on, let's get you to that bench over there." The feminine voice said.

Ziva cooperated, and was helped to a nearby bench to sit down. The person who had helped her flopped down on the bench too, after which she took out her phone.

"Agent Gibbs, I have someone you may be looking for." She said.

Ziva squinted hard at the woman next to her, finally able to put a name to that face. Doctor Rachel Cranston.

"Agent David is with me. I think you need to come get her. She is a bit drunk. Okay maybe a lot."

Ziva let her numbing head fall backward onto of the backrest of the bench, eyes opened slightly to stare at the night sky. There were so many stars. Or maybe that was from all the beer.

"She came to visit Kate. You should know where I'm talking about...Okay bye." Doctor Cranston ended the call.

"Are you a ghost too?" Ziva asked, just to be sure.

"Huh?"

"I am drunk and seeing ghosts." She explained vaguely and clearly out of sorts.

Rachel Cranston's eyebrows shot up in amusement.

"Is it just me or are there stars in the sky?" Ziva asked randomly, pointing upwards.

The doctor chuckled. Some drunks were really fun to watch. "There really are stars."

"Nice."

And it all went quiet. The nice doctor even thought that Ziva had fallen asleep under much influence by the alcohol. And so she jumped when she heard Ziva's voice.

"I am sorry for killing your sister."

Ah, she was sobering up.

"What?" Doctor Cranston was confused.

Wasn't it Ari Haswari who shot Kate? He was Ziva's brother.

"I did not stop my brother on time. If I was good enough, he would not have succeeded in killing her. So it kind of suggests that I am the one who killed her." Ziva seemed to have read the doctor's mind.

"You didn't kill Kate. Gibbs told me that you killed your brother in the end. It gave me closure."

Ziva turned her head slightly to look at the good doctor.

"And you gave Kate justice. For that, I thank you. Very deeply." Doctor Cranston reached out to pat the top if Ziva's hand.

Ziva smiled in appreciation if the kind gesture.

"I need to ask you something Doctor." Ziva's brows furrowed.

"Ask away."

"Is it okay to see dead people?"

"You saw...your brother?" The doctor guessed.

"Kind of. I think I am nuts."

"So that was who you were talking to and flinging your hands at." Doctor Cranston eyebrows went up.

Seems like the doctor had been standing there looking on for quite some time.

"Yup. I am a total nutbox."

"It isn't nutbox." The doctor held back at the mistake.

"Nutsack?"

"It isn't nutsack either." The doctor almost burst out in laughter, but she settled for a chuckle.

"Nut...case?"

"Yeah you got it. And no, you're not crazy. It happens. Even though I deal with something scientific which you know is psychology, I have seen and talked to Kate before too, honestly. I don't know...maybe it's a spiritual thing. Or our imagination. But there are some things in life that can't be explained."

There was a comfortable silence.

"Thanks Doctor." Ziva finally said.

"It's my job. Literally."

Both laughed lightly in the silent cemetery. Ziva's haze had cleared up some, but she still had a light head.

At a certain point, two cars pulled over and out emerged Gibbs, Tony, McGee, Abby and Ducky. The whole team. As a group, they made their way for the only other human beings seated on a bench in the cemetery.

Doctor Cranston tapped Ziva on the shoulder to get her attention.

"You see over there?" The doctor tilted her head towards the anxious team.

Ziva nodded in acknowledgement.

"They are your team. Your family. That there, is something you got in your life that's permanent."

Ziva looked at her NCIS family with loving eyes. The doctor was right. She did have something permanent in her life after all.

"I'll be going off now. Stop blaming yourself for everything okay?" Doctor Cranston bid, and walked away.

Brushing past Gibbs, she heard him whisper a 'Thank You'.

"Ziver." Gibbs called out into the big plot of quiet land.

"Uhh hey Gibbs." Ziva stood up unsteadily.

This was awkward.

He took her by the shoulders, steadying her. "Never be unreachable, got it?"

"Got it."

Gibbs always did have his way of expressing his concern.

Now it was Abby who launched herself at Ziva. "We're so sorry Ziva. We didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"You guys did not make me feel bad. I made myself feel bad. Do not be sorry."

McGee offered her a friendly hug too. "We're family Ziva."

She patted his back affectionately in return.

Ducky wanted his turn too, as he gave her his famous grandfatherly hug. "Tea for you when we get back."

Ziva giggled. She knew he could smell the alcohol on her. Out of character to be giggling, she knew. But she blamed it on the slight intoxication.

And then there was Tony. He gathered his partner tightly in his arms. "You never cease to surprise me. You gotta stop it. Seriously. You're giving me heart palpitations lady."

"I will try my best." She smiled against his suit clad shoulder.

The public display of affection especially between the two partners who had chemistry that hit the roofs didn't go unmarked by Gibbs. But he cut them some slack. It wasn't exactly the right time to spoil the moment.

"C'mon team. Let's go home." Gibbs said, leading the way back to the cars.

Walking right there, Tony's arm slung over her shoulders, Abby's hand supporting her by the elbow, and being surrounded by the people closest to her, Ziva smiled widely. Home.

There was only one thing she could confidently tell herself. It was that this team, this family and this love was gonna be for life. And she would go to the ends of the earth to stop anyone who tried to take it away from her.

* * *

><p><strong>I HATE SCHOOL. They just throw info at you and expect you to know how to do their frickin questions. But well, it's called school for a reason right?<strong>

**But anyways, leave me a review :) Thanks.**


	18. 8x16 Kill Screen Part 1

"Stupid fire doors." Ziva muttered under her breath.

She swore in her head as she threw punches and kicks against the concrete wall that wasn't planning to budge anytime soon.

"I'm pretty sure that wouldn't help. Other than giving you swollen knuckles and throbbing feet." Tony stated, looking on at the martial arts show she was putting on.

"You know you could do something instead of just standing there." She scolded, as she continued abusing the sturdy wall.

"Why waste energy?" Tony shrugged.

He was right. The wall wouldn't budge for now. All they could do was wait for someone to come pry open the stubbornly shut walls.

"I do not want to stay here. It is dark and hot." She complained with a hitch in her voice.

Tony leaned his back against a wall of the small area they were enclosed in as the heat started getting to him too. A sheen of perspiration started forming across his forehead.

"Not to mention you are here. I am stuck with you." She continued grumpily.

"Hey! That hurt, am I that bad?" His hand flew to his chest in mock hurt.

"Yes." She took a pause to her kicking and answered bluntly.

"Well, fine. I'm not going to talk to you anymore." Tony acted childishly.

He didn't see that coming. He didn't think he was that bad, really. That actually hurt a little. And that made him a tad angry. It wasn't like he was the reason they were stuck in there. He crossed his arms across his chest defiantly and turned his back towards her, facing the wall which he could barely see but knew it was there. Being sulky, he dropped down on his butt and just sat there. The more Ziva wanted him to do something, the more he wanted to do nothing. And so he did nothing.

The only sounds he could clearly hear was the sound of Ziva's fists and shoes colliding with the solid wall and her heavy breathing as she tired herself out. He got annoyed at her unnecessary behaviour and plugged his ears with his fingers, humming a tune to Frank Sinatra's 'Fly Me To The Moon', successfully droning out any other noises.

Ziva on the other hand wanted to get out bad. This place wasn't her ideal place to spend the rest of her day in. It was barely illuminated with any light at all, and it was getting humid. Beads of perspiration rolled down her forehead and dropped to the ground as she worked her ninja on the wall.

She was getting just a little panicky. It was all too familiar. It was a good thing she had indeed seen someone previously for her fear of the dark. But to be met with a real situation in the dark, Ziva started suspecting that it wasn't exactly enough help. There was no Gibbs there to hold her hand. She figured that Tony was right, thus she finally stopped attacking the walls that blocked her only way out.

Instead, she flopped down to the ground facing Tony's back. Right behind him, close enough to touch. She wasn't exactly in the right mind to care about his childish stubborn antics as she crossed her legs and lightly grasped the hem of Tony's suit. So lightly that he couldn't feel anything.

She had actually gotten better in overcoming the terror of the darkness which had phased her, but just not fully. She found out just, that therapy and actual scenarios were two totally different things. But she could handle this. She just needed to know that someone was there with her. Gibbs wasn't there obviously so she settled for Tony.

She cupped her chin in her other hand and stared at Tony's broad suit-clad back, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Her foot at its end was shaking endlessly, the only movement that displayed her uneasiness. Compared to the last time in the elevator with Gibbs, she was doing darn well.

Holding onto Tony's suit kind of grounded her, letting her know that there was a familiar living being there. Along with his humming, she wasn't as anxious anymore. Her heart rate was just a little irregular, but it was getting better. She didn't even realise her nervous foot had stopped moving.

After what seemed like a few minutes, she found herself humming the same tune Tony was. Soon her head started lightly bobbing to the music, as the fingers of her free hand started thrumming lightly against her cheek to the beautiful classic melody.

Tony on the other hand still had a finger up in each of his ears, hearing the hum of his own voice reverberating against the inner walls of his ears. He had earlier rested his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes, twitching to his music. It was a weird sight to see. Ziva had actually suspected an itchy butt at first.

His arms soon got sore as he loosened his fingers from his ears, only to hear another voice humming with his own. He had stopped humming as he straightened his back, getting ready to turn his head. Ziva had swiftly released Tony's suit and kept quiet when he ended the humming and she felt his back stiffen.

Tony looked over his shoulder, letting out a yelp at the sudden close proximity of his partner. Ziva tried to contain a laugh, but spluttered "What?"

"You don't get to 'what' me! Since when did you sit down right behind me?" Tony asked as his hand laid over his chest, feeling a slightly sped up heartbeats.

He turned around fully, mirroring the position Ziva was in.

"A while." Ziva wiggled her eyebrows.

"Huh."

"You were too busy being a child to notice."

"I was not!"

"You were."

"I reject your statement."

"I object your rejection."

"I reject your objection to my rejection."

"I object your rejection to my objection of your rejection."

"I'm lost." Tony crossed his arms and frowned.

"Who is acting like a child now?"

"If I distinctly remember, you were humming along with me."

"So?"

"Why were you sitting behind me anyway?"

"Uhh-"

"You were trying to pull a ninja stunt on me, weren't ya?" Tony smiled proudly.

"Yes. Let us leave it at that." Ziva concluded convincingly.

"Nope that's not it." Tony tapped his lip with his finger as he pondered.

"If that is what you want to think, go ahead." Ziva dismissed with a wave of her hand.

She dragged her butt over to the adjacent wall, where she had her back against it. She pulled her legs up closer to her torso as she rested her chin in between. She rested her gaze on Tony's shoe just to make sure he wouldn't disappear and started humming to the song 'Running On Sunshine'. Tony's sharp ears picked up on the tune quite effortlessly as his face scrunched up comically.

"Running On Sunshine? Really?" Tony inquired incredulously.

Ziva's eyes drifted up to Tony's as she shrugged her shoulders. "It is my happy song."

"You have a happy song?" Tony raised a brow.

"Why not? My happy song takes my mind off things. Things like where we are."

Tony was about to rebut when Ziva continued pointedly. "And who I am stuck with." With that she resettled her gaze on Tony's shoe and continued her humming.

Tony was about to throw back a remark when he followed Ziva's line of vision."Why are you staring at my shoe?"

That sudden question successfully stumped Ziva. She felt embarrassment make its way throughout her being as she tried to tear her eyes away from his being. But she couldn't. What if he disappeared once she looked away? Being stuck with Tony was a little annoying, but it was better than being stuck alone. Like last time.

"Yoohoo. What's so fascinating about my shoes?" Tony asked again.

Ziva refused to open her mouth.

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open? I heard it's possible." Tony said as he bent his head over, lowering it till he was looking into Ziva's eyes.

"Does it look like I am sleeping?" Ziva deadpanned.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you thought! :)<strong>


	19. 8x16 Kill Screen Part 2

_"Are you sleeping with your eyes open? I heard it's possible." Tony said as he bent his head over, lowering it till he was looking into Ziva's eyes._

_"Does it look like I am sleeping?" Ziva deadpanned._

* * *

><p>"Well you weren't moving."<p>

Ziva just rolled her eyes, as Tony got on all fours and crawled till he got to Ziva's side. Letting out a breath of air, he settled himself beside Ziva. He took of his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves, loosening his tie as well.

Ziva shifted a space to the right, away from him. He looked at her confusingly, as he left his clothing items where they were on the floor and shifted till he was right beside her again.

Ziva shifted away again along the perimeter of the area they were stuck in. Tony followed playfully. She shifted. He followed. He found it fun to mess with her. Until she gave up.

"Why are you following me?" She glared at him slightly.

"Why are you moving away from me?" Tony threw back smartly.

"You smell bad." She made it up smoothly.

"I do?" Tony's eyes widened a fraction as he sniffed himself.

"Oh I do." He stated distastefully.

Tony heard Ziva chuckle for the first time since they got stuck in there.

"Wow I should have done that earlier if I knew that made you smile." He told her.

Ziva smiled appreciatively back at him, but sighed.

"Are we going to get out anytime soon?" She asked as she rested her head against the hard wall behind her.

"I think so. Why are you so bent on getting out of here?"

"It is hot and dark. Why would I want to stay here another minute?"

"It's not that bad. You practically grew up in the desert."

"Can we not talk about that?" Ziva said with a clipped tone.

Of all things, he had to bring that up.

Tony was looking at her, studying her behaviour as his two hands laid palms down on either side of him. He stared at her face intently, trying to gauge her mood. Ziva had gone back to humming her happy song, now louder than before.

She knew he was staring of course. He was practically burning holes through the side of her head. She refused to turn and look at him, how ever strong the urge might have been. She cursed him in her head. Why the hell did he have to even mention the word 'desert'? She couldn't help but allow unwanted memories to assault her mind. It wasn't as strongly as before, but it was scary nonetheless.

She hummed louder, trying to distract herself. She clenched her teeth and frowned in distress as she tried to block out the creeping fear. The feeling of despair. The feeling of...being alone. Her foot started tapping seemingly interminably yet again. Only relying on her peripheral vision, she reached out for Tony's hand that was by her side and grasped onto a thumb.

Tony was baffled. Why was she like this? He stared at his enclosed thumb, and then back at the side of her face. "Why?" He asked softly.

"Why what?" She tightened her hold on his thumb, ceasing the humming.

"Why are you acting like this? Ever since we got stuck, you've been acting really weird. Really really weird. Like apocalypse weird."

Ziva said with a defeated voice."You are an investigator. Figure it out."

Tony ran through in his head all possibilities. And there was only one that he could fit nicely in this situation. "You're scared huh?"

"Yup." She sighed.

"Of what exactly?" He shifted closer to her, their shoulders barely touching one another.

"The dark. And being alone." She admitted.

"You're not alone." He wiggled his thumb in her hand.

"Not now. But I was."

"The desert?" He chose the word specifically for a reason.

"Stop that." She forced through gritted teeth, enunciating the two words.

Ah, he hit the sore spot. He was right. It was about the desert.

"Stop what?" He acted dumb.

"Stop talking about the desert!" She abruptly released Tony's thumb and pulled her hand back.

"C'mon Ziva, talk to me." He coaxed.

Her eyes stared insolently back at him.

"I promise whatever you say in here, stays in here. Cross my heart." His finger made an 'X' over his chest.

"This place is dark. That is not nice. At all." She murmured.

"You don't like the dark?"

"Maybe that elevator incident would have given you a clue."

_**Flashback**_

_"Ziva, hold the elevator!" Tony quickened his footsteps._

_Ziva didn't seem to have heard him since she didn't wait for him, but Tony managed to stop the elevator by slipping his hand in between the elevator doors._

_"Didn't you hear me?" Tony questioned, stepping into the elevator and pressing the 'close' button._

_"Yup." Ziva replied nonchalantly._

_"Then why didn't you hold the elevator? My hand was this close to being squashed by those heavy metal elevator doors." Tony exaggerated jokingly._

_Ziva kept mum, refusing to communicate with him. Tony realised that she wasn't keen on listening to him and thus he dived straight into the issue that nagged at him._

_"We need to talk. What you said just now, in the warehouse. What did you mean by all that? You can't just leave me hanging there." Tony said._

_"Hanging where?"_

_"Umm okay never mind scratch that, what I meant wa-"_

_"What do you want me to scratch?"_

_Tony gave an exasperated sigh. "Nobody is scratching anyone, god no. No scratching involved at all. It just means tha-wait. Ha! You think I don't see it, but I do. Oh boy, I see what you're doing. You're trying to change the subject!"_

_"Well it worked, did it not?"_

_"Okay I'll give you that. But seriously, you have to talk about it sooner or later. It's not good to bottle it all up inside you."_

_"There is nothing to talk about." She replied, almost using the exact words she told him in the warehouse._

_"See that's where I think you're wrong." Tony stated as he flipped the emergency switch, plunging them into darkness._

_Ziva's heart skipped a beat, stunning her for a split second before she flipped the emergency switch back. "What are you doing?" She demanded, slightly relieved that the lights came back on._

_"Trying to get you to talk to me." Tony said with a tinge of anger in his voice, flipping the emergency switch yet again._

_Being in the darkness once more, Ziva's heart rate was increasingly getting erratic. Tony was standing in between her and the emergency switch, and so she shoved him out of her way and flipped the emergency switch back. "Stop that!" She raised her voice slightly._

_Tony, having been shoved into the elevator wall, was momentarily dazed. "You need to talk to somebody."_

_"I will." Ziva replied breathily._

_Before Tony could make a comeback, the elevator doors opened having reached its designated floor. Luck seemed to favour Ziva a little bit more today. She hastily made her way to her car, while Tony just stared after her for a while before heading for his car as well. Well that plan backfired._

_**End Of Flashback**_

"Things actually make sense now." Tony nodded his head.

"That is why I am acting so weirdly, as you put it."

"Does anyone know?"

"Gibbs. And McGee."

"What! When?" Tony exclaimed.

He was her partner! Shouldn't he know about this before the others did?

"I was with McGee in the elevator when we lost power in the whole building remember?"

"Yeah."

"I freaked out, and I almost killed McGee. With my knife." She revealed as she hid a guilt-ridden face in her hands.

She couldn't stand to even show her face, after revealing what a horrendous thing she had almost succeeded in doing. Oh she remembered vividly what went down in that elevator. She remembered being held in tight coils of fear. The feeling of fear creeping up on her, grasping her with its merciless claws as she felt a twist in her gut.

She remembered the fear and shock in McGee's eyes, and how close her knife was to actually irreversibly tearing his skin. It sent an involuntary shudder through every cell in her being.

Tony's eyes flew wide open at the revelation. McGee could really keep a secret.

"I have a lot to thank him for. He calmed me down. He did not blame me for what I did. But guess what? I ended up smashing his watch later on because it was his turn to get impatient." Ziva chuckled humourlessly.

"Uhh okay." Tony was a bit speechless.

"As for Gibbs, I umm...I asked him for help."

"You know, I would have helped you if you asked."

"Of course I know."

"Then why didn't you?"

Good question. Why didn't she? She had no idea either.

"Well I umm- I think...maybe-" She tried to formulate an answer but was fortunately interrupted.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" A deep voice bellowed.

Ziva sprang up onto her feet and walked to where the voice was coming from.

"We are here!"

"We're from the fire department. We're gonna work on this doors and get you out soon."

"Thank god." Ziva heaved a sigh of relief as she plopped back down beside Tony.

One, she was finally getting out. Two, she managed to dodge Tony's question.

"You didn't answer my question." Tony piped up from his spot on the floor.

Okay, so maybe she didn't manage to dodge it. But she sure as hell would put up a fight against answering it. And so she kept mum.

"Are you gonna answer my question?"

Ziva refused to reply.

"You giving me the silent treatment?"

Ziva intentionally turned her head totally away from him.

"This is how it's gonna be?"

No reaction.

"Hey. I'm just gonna keep on disturbing you if you don't answer me."

No answer.

"You heard of the Annoying Orange? Youtube? All the kids are talking about it. Well here's the Annoying Tony."

Not a fidget.

"Hey Ziva. Ziva. Ziva. Hey Ziva. Ziva. Ziva. Hey. Hey Ziva. Ziva. Ziva."

"Shut up!" She threw her hands up in defeat as she turned to look at him again.

"You shut up." He answered playfully.

"I was not even talking!"

"Now you are."

"That is because you would not keep quiet."

"It's against my DiNozzo nature to keep shut the mouth I was blessed with."

And on the other side of the wall, snickers and small laughter could be heard.

"You hear that? Even the firemen are laughing." Ziva said as she threw Tony a look.

"Laughing at you." He frowned and pointed at her.

"No, laughing at you." She poked his chest.

"Nope, at both of you." The same deep voice came about again, soon bursting into chuckles again.

"Just hurry up and get us out of here." Tony complained grumpily.

Who were they to be laughing? They should mind their own business.

"Someone is being grouchy." Ziva commented.

"Because you didn't answer me."

Ziva exhaled and blew a loose strand of hair away from her face. "I am not going to answer your question. But if it makes you feel any better, if I were to be stuck in a place like this again, I would choose to be stuck with you."

"Really?" Tony's face brightened instantly.

"Yes really. Now will you stop looking like an old grouch?"

"Grouch I accept. But old is where I draw the line!" He declared with a laugh as he nudged her shoulder with his own.

"It is a fact!"

"Okay you know what, I'm gonna do what all the kids are doing nowadays. Be emo. Whatever emo is."

"You do that."

And hearty guffaws could be heard once again on the other side of the wall as sounds of tools working on the concrete rang through their ears.

* * *

><p>"I almost shot Tony last night. We were stuck for almost three hours before the firemen were able to open up the fire doors." Ziva complained.<p>

"And you loved every second of it." Tony smiled triumphantly.

She just smirked.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are welcome (: I'll be updating slower now that school's up and going faster than before!<strong>


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